‘the Ward Felt Like A Prison. What Had I Let Them Do?’: How My Daughter Was Crushed By A Health Service Meant To Help Her

I retrieve truthful intelligibly nan infinitesimal it dawned connected maine that nan intelligence wellness ward wherever my teenage girl was being treated felt for illustration small much than a prison. Ruth had been truthful trusting. So had we. That each changed nan time she was moved from our section infirmary to Thames Ward astatine Huntercombe infirmary successful Berkshire. When we left, she walked truthful easy down to nan infirmary carrier pinch maine and nan play therapist – who hugged her tight and waved goodbye. When nan van doorway opened astatine nan different end, nan stark building loomed complete us. We were met and escorted up a formation of stairs and done nan double, air-locked, doors, 1 slamming closed down us, nan personification pinch nan keys waiting for nan first fastener to click earlier opening nan next. This was a sealed unit, devoid of earthy light, my eyes aching already from nan harsh glare overhead. We were taken to an soul room, lined pinch windows. The goldfish bowl, they called it.

Ruth’s manus slipped into mine, caput down arsenic they told maine it was clip for maine to go. “But I haven’t settled her into her room aliases met immoderate of nan unit yet,” was met with: “Parents aren’t allowed connected nan ward.” I asked again, and they conceded I could spot her room, conscionable once, but past I had to time off immediately. It was infirmary policy.

I still aftermath astatine night, bosom pounding arsenic I relive those steps done nan communal area, to Ruth’s allocated room. A azygous bed, a integrative broadside table. Windows that did not open. The voices became distant arsenic they explained location would beryllium a caller personification each hr done nan time and nighttime who would “observe Ruth”. I placed her container connected nan floor. Ruth sat, terrified, connected nan furniture and past I was ushered out. Suddenly, I recovered myself locked connected nan different broadside of those double doors, clutching a portion of insubstantial that told maine I could sojourn my girl for 1 hour, doubly a week.

What person I fto them do?

Our daughter, Ruth Szymankiewicz, died connected 14 February 2022 astatine 18.29 connected nan paediatric intensive attraction portion astatine John Radcliffe infirmary successful Oxford. She was rushed location from Huntercombe hospital, an NHS commissioned but privately tally kid and teen intelligence wellness unit, wherever she had been near to fatally self-harm 2 days earlier. She had been successful nan portion for curen of an eating upset for almost 5 months, sent location conscionable 10 days aft her 14th birthday.

That question, “What person I fto them do?”, reverberates perpetually astir my caput moreover now, astir 4 years later. Those doors closed, severing our kid from her family. Not successful my worst nightmares did I ideate that it was besides a precursor to each nan horrors that followed, and to her being unopen retired from our lives for ever.

Ruth was a vibrant, loving kid who danced done life assured successful her knack of making friends and throwing herself into nan activities she loved. We were sent a paper aft she died, describing her arsenic nan benignant of friend you wish for your kid to find, for illustration a favourite Enid Blyton characteristic – bold, inquisitive, fun, loyal and a small spot cheeky. She was genuinely herself retired successful nan wild, astatine 1 pinch nature; mud connected her cheeks, bramble scratches connected her legs, precocious up a character aliases wading retired successful a river. Yet she besides recovered stillness and a perseverance and determination to decorativeness what she group retired to do. We would find her coiled up pinch a communicative connected nan shed roof, aliases stretched retired connected a rainy time pinch her caput successful nan dog’s lap, mislaid successful magical worlds successful nan pages of books. At nan property of 10, nan schoolhouse librarian asked her to thief constitute reference quizzes for different pupils arsenic she had publication nan full collection. At nan property of 11, connected proceeding that her dada was considering climbing Kilimanjaro, Ruth firmly announced that she would beryllium going too, and duly did. She was focused and immensely persuasive. She spent her clip filling successful forms for america to foster children and adopt animals, penning to supermarkets astir their usage of single-use plastics. She was driven from an early property to make nan world a amended place.

I still cannot fathom really that bright, happy kid ended up wherever she did, nor really we ended up truthful mislaid successful a strategy we had trusted. I cognize that immoderate kid put into nan circumstances that she was would beryllium destroyed, yet I consciousness it is each nan much sadistic for a woman who loved to beryllium outdoors and was truthful free.

Ruth had developed an eating upset quickly complete what felt for illustration a fewer weeks erstwhile she was 13 but, successful retrospect, location had been informing signs complete nan preceding years. When her accent consequence was high, she needed things to beryllium overmuch much ordered. Controlling her eating and workout was often portion of that. For Ruth, it was besides tied successful pinch a heavy interest for nan ambiance situation and planetary health. She couldn’t bring herself to eat foods wrapped successful integrative aliases not ethically sourced. She had neurodivergent traits and, for illustration galore girls connected nan precocious extremity of nan autistic spectrum, masked and functioned truthful efficaciously done superior school. The abrupt “overwhelm” seemed to travel from obscurity erstwhile she reached adolescence and pinch nan modulation to secondary school.

Ruth was diagnosed pinch Tourette syndrome astatine nan extremity of 2020, erstwhile she had an acute onset of terrible vocal and centrifugal tics. At nan time, and moreover arsenic a doctor, I knew small astir nan syndrome and quickly discovered that location was nary section support whatsoever.

However, pinch existent resilience, Ruth navigated her measurement done nan tics, embraced nan therapeutic input that we could only entree privately, and recovered her measurement backmost into her imagination of life. By nan summertime of 2021, we were heaving a sigh of alleviation arsenic things seemed to beryllium backmost connected way for america arsenic a family – only past to beryllium wholly blind-sided by a accelerated escalation of Ruth not being capable to eat astatine all.

Kate Szymankiewicz: ‘Why did I not conscionable return her home?’ Photograph: Lydia Goldblatt/The Guardian

It sewage worse while we were waiting for an appraisal from nan eating upset squad and, aft six days of Ruth not eating anything, our GP sent america to nan section wide children’s ward astatine Salisbury infirmary for a review. And location we stayed.

I person a vivid recollection of our 2nd nighttime in hospital. I had raided nan shop for immoderate nutrient I could deliberation to tempt Ruth pinch – infirmary canteen dinners  were ne'er going to do it. We had figured retired nan TV surface connected its elephantine arm. Ruth had climbed retired of her furniture connected to nan oversized armchair pinch me. We had half  pulled it out, not afloat successful furniture form, truthful that we could watch nan movie together pinch our legs stretched retired successful front. Ruth had made a immense effort and eaten half a tub of couscous and was nibbling connected bits of popcorn while I shovelled successful chocolate. If I adjacent my eyes I can still consciousness nan unit of her assemblage squeezed successful adjacent to mine. I cannot callback what we watched. It didn’t matter. I was conscionable soaking her in. Thinking we had hope.

Why did I not conscionable return her location then? She ate immoderate cereal nan pursuing morning, but by that constituent nan creaking wheels of nan eating upset work were being activated and a stern dietician began laying down nan rules: infirmary until Ruth ate her full repast plan. Tube feeding if she didn’t. And, for illustration a bully small norm follower, I listened and trusted their advice. I was grateful even, for personification to show maine really to navigate this. Yet, each nan while, a small sound wrong maine knew that Ruth needed thing different.

It each seems a blur now, and astatine nan clip moreover much so, trying to juggle 2 younger children connected schoolhouse holidays, telling activity that I couldn’t beryllium location for a fewer weeks. The time they decided to commencement nasogastric (NG) feeding was nan first of galore sliding doorway moments. The clinicians said that Ruth would request to beryllium nether conception of nan Mental Health Act alternatively than doing it pinch our parental consent. An NG provender is erstwhile a mini conduit is passed up done nan nostril and down nan pharynx to administer a liquid provender straight into nan stomach. It isn’t a pleasant process and though Ruth was initially compliant, they felt she wouldn’t want a conduit forced down her chemoreceptor and into her stomach, fixed nan choice. And truthful it began, without america really having immoderate comprehension of what that “section” would mean successful reality.

The Mental Health Act is expected to beryllium a protective system for people, yet, successful its existent state, without circumstantial proviso for children, it stripped Ruth of her authorities and of each our protection. The decisions astir each facet of Ruth’s attraction were taken complete by nan objective squad looking aft her. As her parents, we were abruptly powerless.

Ruth’s spot successful nan eating upset squad diminished – stretched beyond capacity, they hardly ventured to nan ward to thief us. In contrast, nan paediatric ward squad tried truthful difficult to support america – they helped america to entree nan plot of a adjacent hospice truthful we could walk hours outside, and engaged nursing unit made clip to braid Ruth’s hair, play games and enslaved complete shared interests. But our requests to return her location and to sojourn family to effort to “reset” were denied. Ruth’s temper plummeted and erstwhile her first conception expired aft 28 days, we took nan opportunity to bring her home.

She sewage truthful adjacent to eating again backmost astatine home, but not adjacent enough, and aft 4 days ended up backmost successful infirmary nan week earlier her 14th birthday. Within days of readmission, disaster struck and nan nasogastric feeding conduit was inadvertently inserted into her lungs – thing called a “never” event, a method word utilized successful nan NHS for 1 that should ne'er happen. Ruth’s lung filled up pinch nan liquid provender and she quickly became incapable to breathe. The doctors had to transportation retired an emergency intubation, putting a conduit into her lungs to support breathing for her. With nary paediatric intensive attraction portion (PICU) successful Salisbury, she was transferred instantly to Southampton hospital and remained location for 3 days.

If I adjacent my eyes, I tin carrier myself backmost to that clip successful Southampton. I callback my power drained away, my eyes bleary aft nan nights of hoping and waiting for Ruth to person recovered capable for them to return retired nan breathing tubes. I retrieve holding her manus arsenic nan sedation was lifted, my muscles yet relaxing arsenic she breathed connected her ain again. I was guiltless to nan truth that this segment would repetition successful conscionable a fewer months, successful different intensive attraction unit, yet that clip erstwhile they removed nan tubes would beryllium for Ruth’s past breaths.

The alleviation of returning to nan acquainted Salisbury ward was short-lived. We were informed that Ruth was to beryllium transferred to a psychiatric intensive attraction unit, confusingly besides called a PICU. Panicked, we asked for meetings pinch nan eating upset squad but location was nary discussion. The reasons kept changing and didn’t adhd up. One infinitesimal we were told she was astatine precocious consequence of absconding and self-harm, nan next, that location were nary different units disposable that could supply NG feeding. We frantically researched Thames ward astatine Huntercombe hospital. It was a ward for children who were making superior attempts to self-harm aliases were severely psychotic. The Care Quality Commission (CQC) had only conscionable taken it retired of typical measures. There were superior concerns astir nan moving and information of nan infirmary and nan ward. A kid had died location only a fewer years earlier.

We were exhausted and vulnerable. We felt group were not being transparent. Only astatine Ruth’s inquest did we study that our feelings had been correct. There were discussions and meetings being held astatine that clip without our knowledge and input, by group who had ne'er spoken to america aliases Ruth; making decisions for our child, without our consent.

Ruth hadn’t met immoderate of nan criteria laid retired successful nan nationalist guidelines for admittance to a psychiatric ICU. She was terrified of nan NG feeds, but she was resisting less. She was happily engaged pinch nan play therapist astatine Salisbury, spending hours putting up wall displays successful nan ward corridors and sorting retired nan artifact cupboards. She was moreover joining lessons astatine schoolhouse via Zoom. Yet she was still physically truthful weak, and a terrible thorax infection she had developed connected nan ICU was still rattling her activity and exhausting her.

Her 14th day was connected 24 September. They told america not to show her she was being moved to Huntercombe until nan transfer, only days later.

At Huntercombe, Ruth was locked into a bleak, scary spot distant from nan group she trusted and loved. She received conscionable 2 sessions pinch nan infirmary scientist successful nan four-and-a-half months she was there. We pleaded continuously to beryllium allowed to sojourn her each day; to thief her consciousness comfortable pinch nan unit and nan environment. But nan infirmary argumentation of 1 hour-long visit, doubly weekly, was only ever extended to 2 hours, aft we based on it took 2 hours for america to thrust there, each way.

I tin excessively intelligibly callback nan muffled soundlessness of Ruth’s sound astatine nan extremity of a telephone – that sound erstwhile personification can’t talk because they are crying. To commencement with, she would call, precocious astatine night, distraught that she conscionable wanted to spell to sleep, and yet unit were only conscionable arriving to return her for her evening NG feed, aliases that nan screaming and alarms were overwhelming her. Every portion of maine cried retired to thrust 2 hours and bang connected nan doors until they fto maine in. She stopped calling aft a while, slow resigning herself to nan truth that, moreover arsenic her mother, location was thing I could do.

Pictures of Ruth and immoderate of her belongings astatine her home.

We looked astatine borrowing money truthful I could rent location adjacent by. In Salisbury, we had stayed pinch Ruth astir nights and she ever had america adjacent passim nan day. The cardinal tenet to treating an eating upset is family therapy and repast support. We had been location each repast time, eating alongside her, encouraging her. Yet aft Ruth had been astatine Huntercombe infirmary for 7 weeks, she told maine she hadn’t moreover seen nutrient since she had arrived there. There was nary therapy to thief her eat, nary therapy to thief her pinch trauma from nan “never” arena successful Salisbury. I was perpetually pushing, questioning, challenging. I spent hours each time connected nan phone, and penning emails, simply trying to person nan astir basal of connection pinch nan squad looking aft Ruth.

Is it immoderate astonishment that successful Huntercombe, Ruth unopen down? How could she unfastened up to strangers and, arsenic they put it, “engage”? She withdrew into herself. She resisted and “fought” nan group who marched into her room 3 times a time to resistance her into nan feeding room and instrumentality a conduit down into her stomach, fearing they mightiness get it incorrect and put it successful her lung. She wanted to escape, but location was nary measurement retired – until she recovered nan eventual exit.

Try to ideate what your guidance would beryllium if your kid went into infirmary with, for example, abdominal pain. Imagine nan emergency section doctors deliberation they person appendicitis. You’re allowed to travel your kid arsenic they’re wheeled up to nan children’s ward, but past told you person to leave: it’s infirmary policy. Imagine each clip you are allowed to visit, your kid is much unwell, but nary 1 tin show you why they’re not having immoderate treatment. Imagine your kid – sick, frightened and unsocial – and you’re not allowed to beryllium there.

The reality is, you can’t ideate it. It conscionable wouldn’t hap connected a regular children’s ward. Yet this is nan acquisition for countless families pinch children connected intelligence wellness wards crossed this country.

Ruth was fixed little clip extracurricular each time than a situation inmate. Three weeks earlier her death, a head from Oxford Health, nan NHS spot overseeing her care, told her that she would only beryllium leaving if she started eating aliases didn’t defy nan process of NG feeding – arsenic if she was choosing to beryllium there. He walked distant without giving her immoderate suggestions arsenic to really she was to execute that. Essentially, she was successful a catch-22 – she was location because she couldn’t eat, yet to time off she would person to commencement eating. Is it immoderate wonderment she felt trapped?

Ruth’s inquest took spot almost 4 years to nan time that she was first admitted to hospital, successful August 2025. She died successful nan attraction of nan state, nether conception by nan Mental Health Act, and because of this location was nan request to clasp an inquest pinch a assemblage to analyse nan origin and contributory factors of her death. You whitethorn person seen her smiling look connected nan news complete nan summertime pinch nan header “Girl unlawfully killed successful intelligence wellness unit”.

The news stories astir Ruth’s decease focused connected nan domiciled of 1 support worker, who was allocated to “observing” Ruth for nan past hr of nan time shift, from 7-8pm. It was his first displacement successful nan hospital, and so his first displacement ever arsenic a intelligence wellness support worker. He had been employed by Platinum agency, which was owned by 1 of nan Huntercombe employees. He was signed up to nan agency nether a mendacious sanction and pinch mendacious references. He undertook nan mandatory training to beryllium employed arsenic a support worker – little than 4 hours online, nary of which was circumstantial to activity successful a intelligence wellness portion aliases pinch children. He was allocated to commencement nan displacement connected a different ward, but was transferred to Thames Ward arsenic it was importantly short-staffed that day, and he received nary induction arsenic they were excessively busy.

At nan extremity of his study clip pinch Ruth, he asked if his displacement had vanished and if he could spell home. But he was past called to assistance pinch different diligent and near Ruth alone. Ruth was seen to person walked past 4 different members of staff, each of whom knew she was meant to beryllium nether changeless supervision, and into her room. Three members of ward unit were sitting successful nan hallway extracurricular her room erstwhile she closed nan doorway and took her ain life. No 1 thought to look successful her room until it was excessively late.

Huntercombe hospital. Photograph: Maureen McLean/Alamy

Yet we judge nan failings successful Ruth’s attraction widen beyond 1 time and 1 incident. For america it has ne'er been astir nan support worker’s actions. The levels of staffing were truthful low, nan training truthful poor, nan strategy truthful chaotic, that it was conscionable waiting to happen. Ruth’s decease reflects nan full system, and a infirmary that was causing harm. A infirmary that was privately tally by nan institution Active Care Group. A infirmary that is not unsocial and was 1 of galore units failing our young group crossed nan country.

There is nary mandatory request for agency support workers successful paediatric intelligence wellness attraction to person immoderate training successful looking aft children, aliases so successful intelligence wellness care. There is simply a precocious reliance connected agency unit crossed Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (Camhs) units, reflecting nan difficulties of training and recruiting imperishable staff, but nan proportionality successful privately tally units is importantly higher. The nighttime displacement astatine Huntercombe consisted of 80% agency staff. It raises superior questions astir backstage providers putting profits complete diligent safety. Active Care Group stated publically successful 2024 that they were successful terrible financial situation and warned they whitethorn not beryllium capable to money nan costs of patients’ food, medications aliases agency staff. Yet nan institution board were set to person six-figure bonuses that year.

Ruth’s inquest concluded by listing nan failings and inadequacies contributing to her death: Ruth was provided pinch insufficient therapy. Our visits were constricted contempt family relationship being identified arsenic an integral portion of improving her intelligence wellbeing. We – her parents – were not fixed capable accusation astir attraction options, nan entreaty process and refusal rights. Ruth’s attraction pathway was insufficient to let her to amended towards discharge. Ruth was not prevented from accessing harmful worldly connected nan internet. The database went connected …

I americium a GP arsenic good arsenic a mother. Ruth’s communicative echoes astir my room room arsenic I effort to support nan children, young group and their families who travel to me, time aft day. How tin I nonstop them distant knowing really small nan Camhs strategy has to offer, and really acold they could fall? One successful 5 children successful nan UK now has a diagnosed intelligence wellness problem. That’s almost 2.5 million children and doesn’t relationship for those who are struggling but haven’t sewage an charismatic diagnosis.

For eating disorders, early and due involution is vital. They person nan highest rates of mortality of immoderate intelligence disorder, yet are afloat treatable. The Royal College of Psychiatry (RCPsych) is clear that “every kid pinch an eating upset tin beryllium treated efficaciously if seen early enough”.

Eating disorders are expanding astatine a terrifying complaint successful England: 8,034 children started curen successful 2019/2020, 11,809 successful 2022/2023, and successful conscionable nan past 3 months of 2024, 7,933 were referred for treatment. Many eating upset services successful this state tin only return connected children who are severely unwell arsenic they do not person nan unit aliases resources to dainty them. There are thousands much children who are not yet astatine situation point, truthful they person to wait. Without involution they will only get worse. But successful March this year, nan RCPsych identified plans that would trim backing for children and young people’s eating upset services successful much than half nan areas crossed England.

It is easy to get mislaid successful wherever nan strategy sewage it truthful wrong, truthful I’d for illustration to propose really we mightiness get it right. We need, arsenic a bare minimum, nan Mental Health Act to uphold nan authorities of each children and to protect them astatine their astir vulnerable. Children request unrestricted entree to their parents aliases guardians (unless it is not successful their champion interests). Visiting policies utilized connected wide paediatric wards crossed nan UK typically let unfastened and unrestricted visiting, 24/7, for parents and superior carers. It is important that children should person nan aforesaid entree to their families, irrespective of whether they are connected a children’s ward successful a wide hospital, aliases a children’s ward successful a intelligence wellness hospital. We powerfully judge that if Ruth had been allowed unrestricted entree to us, her family, she would still beryllium here. Children should not beryllium admitted to big intelligence wellness units (approximately 120 were sent to big units past year), and children should not beryllium sent acold from home, aliases retired of area.

We request to widen Camhs to proceed to support young group until nan property of 21. The modulation from children’s to big services is astatine specified a important stage, while nan encephalon is still developing, and my young patients who are already nether Camhs are fundamentally abandoned connected nan time they move 18.

There are awesome examples successful different countries, specified arsenic Sweden and Australia, wherever family-focused organization support intends infirmary admissions are acold fewer. When children are admitted, nan halfway rule is family-centred care. Children are allowed to person their genitor aliases carer enactment alongside them, time and night. It strikes maine that if families are together pinch their children, a civilization of neglect and maltreatment tin nary longer turn up down closed doors. The numbers show a stark communicative – nan mean admittance to a intelligence wellness portion for a kid successful Sweden is little than 11 days. In Australia, it is little than 9 days. For a child, successful nan UK it is 74 days.

Ruth’s ceremonial was held nether a ceiling of clouds and vibrant leaves. We couldn’t carnivore to trap her indoors immoderate longer, and her wicker coffin rested beneath nan branches of a ample oak tree. So galore of those who loved her gathered successful nan anemic outpouring sunshine. A butterfly joined america to remainder connected nan daffodils. We listened to, among different music, Fight Song by Rachel Platten. The words look apt to decorativeness with: “Like a mini vessel connected nan ocean, sending large waves into motion, for illustration really a azygous connection tin make a bosom open, I mightiness only person 1 lucifer but I tin make an explosion.”

Ruth’s bosom was truthful strong; afloat of love, life and joy. Her decease has wholly flattened our family and each those who knew her. With her emotion of sailing, I tin ideate her mini vessel heading disconnected into nan region for nan last time. Perhaps for each nan pain, nan ripples that her communicative has near down tin go waves that turn into a large wind of affirmative and powerful change.

In a statement, a spokesperson for nan Active Care Group expressed their heavy regret complete nan events starring to Ruth’s death, and said they had not engaged nan Platinum agency since nan incident. They added: “In caller years, we person made important improvements to nan value and information successful each of our services. We are dedicated to learning immoderate further lessons pinch nan purpose of preventing immoderate early tragic incidents.” They pointed retired that 96% of their services are rated Good aliases Outstanding by nan CQC. Huntercombe hospital closed successful July 2023.