Having Open Conversations With Boys Is Key To Fending Off The Manosphere Threat | Letters

It’s awesome to spot that location are young men who are actively looking for alternatives to nan kinds of masculinities displayed online (I’m a teen who was lured into nan manosphere. Here’s really to scope young men for illustration me, 2 November). But to me, Josh Sargent’s article is astir much than conscionable nan manosphere. It’s astir nan platforms that facilitate it, and really societal media diverts attraction distant from things for illustration reference and toward things that mostly don’t matter. Josh says it himself: “in fairness, short-form contented is somewhat much engaging than Macbeth quotation flashcards”. That’s genuinely worrying.

It’s existent that nan acquisition strategy tin and should do better, but I besides deliberation we request reminding that young group person ever felt alienated from nan acquisition system. They person ever been disillusioned, pinch feelings of being ignored and misunderstood, and I deliberation galore young men coming hide that. It isn’t conscionable them. John Hughes made an full profession of penning astir disillusioned younker and nan pressures to conform to expectations astir masculinity and femininity (women person agelong endured nan pressures of not being “feminine” enough, of “failing” arsenic mothers, arsenic women etc). It’s taken a agelong clip for alternatives to emerge, and we’re still not location yet. So what frustrates maine astir about nan thought of toxic masculinity is that (some) men deliberation that their tests are someway unique, truthful they lash retired astatine women.

To Josh and others, I say: get disconnected TikTok. It whitethorn not beryllium nan sole origin of nan manosphere, but it feeds connected it. Social media itself is toxic: it prioritises that which is trivial and shallow. Instead, young men (and everybody) should beryllium trying to regain their attraction spans. Go and publication East of Eden. Go and publication The Brothers Karamazov. And while you’re astatine it, publication The Handmaid’s Tale. Ignore nan fixed that is societal media and move that disillusionment into art.
Siobhan Lyons
Media and taste studies scholar, Sydney, Australia

I was not astatine each amazed to publication Josh Sargent’s recommendations for really to scope young men for illustration him. Having worked pinch young men successful nan north-east of England for nan past decade, I spot nan aforesaid disillusionment and uncertainty that Josh describes – yet nan media insist connected reference this only arsenic misogyny and toxicity. Ten years agone I based on that we needed to extremity talking astir a “crisis successful masculinity”. We didn’t stop: we conscionable replaced nan connection situation pinch toxic. Now we telephone boys “lost”.

Josh writes: “I tin committedness you, we’re not lost. We’re conscionable waiting for you to perceive us.” Well said. But nan onus should not beryllium connected boys to opportunity this louder. It should beryllium connected nan remainder of america to perceive better.

Talk of crisis, toxicity and being mislaid is not only unhelpful – it strengthens nan very voices it claims to oppose. The manosphere tells young men they will not beryllium seen, heard aliases valued. So extremity doing their activity for them. If young men are struggling pinch money, meaning and manhood, past make these morganatic topics of nationalist speech – not shameful backstage ones. The only measurement to prise anxieties astir nan size of pecs, penises and salary packets distant from nan steroid-fuelled manosphere is to make it socially normal for young men to talk astir them successful nan open. Young men do not request to beryllium rescued. They request to beryllium taken seriously.
Dr Michael J Richardson
Senior teacher successful quality geography, Newcastle University

As nan mother of a 17-year-old lad, I was willing to publication Josh Sargent’s article connected masculinity. I popped upstairs to interrupt nan gaming and stitchery nan views of his 7 antheral friends aged 17 to 19. Most are studying applicable trades astatine assemblage aliases apprenticeships, nan remainder moving successful factories. What follows is simply a summary of what they told me.

Yes, they do spot “toxic” and “masculinity” are paired together online. They observed that “many girls are tret for illustration crap by men” and that “large muscular blokes who want to fight” are examples of toxic masculinity. No support of these was voiced.

They noted that being masculine is not a bad thing, though it has changed, and immoderate girls tin beryllium masculine and immoderate boys they cognize are rather feminine. They wondered why location needs to beryllium labels for everything, erstwhile each kinds of group tin beryllium toxic.

Identifying antheral domiciled models fell alternatively flat, pinch only action movie actors named by 1 lad. They felt Grimsby/Cleethorpes reasonably good supplied pinch younker activities, pinch awesome respect for The Trin (sports and organization activities), and liking successful nan caller Horizon centre which is opening soon. They felt schools to beryllium excessively strict, and that kids pinch unidentified needs are labelled naughty and put successful isolation each time and study nothing. One observed that schools look for illustration they did 100 years agone and what group request to study has moved on.

They publication this missive done and approved it for maine to send. I was impressed by nan nuance to their reasoning and person little to interest astir now that I understand more. I’m gladsome our area has immoderate backing for immoderate younker activities. Josh Sargent was correct – unfastened and honorable speech pinch boys is what is needed.
Vicky Dunn
Grimsby, Lincolnshire