‘i Just Want To Feel Like Me Again’: The Women Still Waiting For Breast Reconstruction Years After Lockdown

Every clip she lifts her arms to get dressed aliases bent retired her washing, Julie Ford gets a achy reminder of 1 of nan astir terrifying experiences of her life. At 7am 1 time successful April 2021, she had gone into hospital, unsocial and wearing a mask, to person her correct bosom and lymph nodes removed successful a bid to extremity bosom crab from spreading. Later that day, still groggy from nan anaesthetic, successful symptom and pinch surgical drains hanging from some sides of her chest, she had staggered to nan doorway pinch nan thief of 2 nurses. She was eased into a friend’s car and driven location to fend for herself.

While Julie’s bosom had been removed, it was not reconstructed. Usually, some procedures are carried retired successful nan aforesaid operation. But arsenic reconstruction utilizing insubstantial from nan patient’s abdomen is simply a complex, eight-hour process requiring a ample surgical team, it was considered “non-essential” and paused by astir NHS trusts during nan Covid-19 pandemic.

Like hundreds of women pinch bosom crab who underwent urgent mastectomies without reconstruction successful 2020 and 2021, Julie was assured she could person nan process erstwhile Covid restrictions lifted.

But 5 years later, Julie, now 62, is still waiting.

A nationalist shortage of master surgeons and theatre space, arsenic good arsenic nan request to prioritise caller crab cases, intends galore women for illustration her, who had breasts removed during lockdown, consciousness they person been abandoned. They unrecorded successful regular beingness discomfort and intelligence distress arsenic they proceed to await nan reconstructions they were promised years ago.

“I person to look astatine this hideous messiness each day,” Julie says despairingly of her assemblage post-mastectomy. “It’s really knocked my confidence. I don’t look correct successful apparel because everything hangs wrong. I’m truthful self-conscious – I don’t consciousness capable to spell retired aliases socialise – and I haven’t been capable to person a relationship.”

Julie is simply a kid societal attraction support worker from Sheffield. She was fitted pinch a impermanent implant astatine nan clip of her mastectomy, but during nan radiotherapy curen that followed, nan implant became fused to her body, causing it to distort. It now triggers a raw, tugging symptom each clip she moves. “It’s for illustration it’s superglued to nan wrong of my skin,” she says. “I can’t assistance my limb up – it really pulls and hurts.”

Julie Ford successful infirmary successful 2021 aft completing bosom crab treatment. Photograph: Courtesy of Julie Ford

After a twelvemonth to retrieve from crab treatment, Julie was referred to nan reconstruction waiting database successful 2022. But lockdown crab survivors for illustration her are nan slightest apt to beryllium fixed a room slot.

Patients pinch progressive crab understandably get priority, and person their bosom removals and reconstructions each astatine once. Any further spaces that go disposable are fixed to women astatine precocious consequence of processing crab because they transportation familial mutations.

It intends that galore crab survivors awaiting delayed reconstruction are “put to nan bottommost of nan list”, says Simon Wood, an NHS advisor integrative surgeon and president-elect of nan British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons. He says a postcode lottery intends that while immoderate trusts – including his own, Imperial College healthcare NHS spot – person worked to guarantee nary diligent waits longer than a twelvemonth for reconstruction, others look to person “barely sewage started” since nan pandemic. A 2024 study recovered astatine slightest 2,200 patients who person survived bosom cancer, aliases who were astatine precocious consequence of processing it, were waiting for room crossed 40 NHS centres successful England, pinch an mean hold of 2.5 years.

And Wood fears location is small to promote struggling hospitals to clear nan backlog. Instead of investing resources into “expensive and lengthy” surgeries specified arsenic bosom reconstructions, NHS trusts that want to trim nan size of their wide waiting database person an inducement to prioritise quick, elemental operations wherever respective patients tin beryllium ticked disconnected nan database successful a short time, he says. “There are capacity issues, pinch increasing request and a shortage of theatre clip and surgeons’ time, but to tackle it you request to person [NHS trust] guidance that is bothered to find a solution, not conscionable beryllium connected their hands.”

For Alison Wilson, now 63, from Stockport, Greater Manchester, nan hold to person her bosom reconstructed causes regular grief.

“I conscionable want to person backmost nan portion of maine which is gone – to look and consciousness for illustration maine again,” she says, breaking down successful tears. “I’ve sewage nary confidence. I really respect women who tin return their tops disconnected and show their scars, but that isn’t me. I want immoderate normality backmost successful my life, aft losing truthful much.”

She had a mastectomy successful April 2020 to region her correct breast, aft a crab diagnosis, but has been told she will person to hold until September this twelvemonth for reconstruction surgery. While she waits, she has been fixed a prosthesis to deterioration successful spot of her missing breast, which she hates.

“It’s truthful uncomfortable and it’s horrendous successful basking weather,” she says. As she useful successful airdrome security, Alison must often walk done assemblage scanners, which regularly prime up her prosthesis arsenic an abnormality. “Every clip I locomotion into activity I person to interest astir whether I’m going to person to speak to a alien astir my breasts,” she says pinch a sigh. “It’s intolerable to hide astir it – you are reminded constantly.”

Like Julie, Alison was discharged connected nan aforesaid time arsenic her bosom removal room and expected to retrieve astatine home. At nan time, she was shielding pinch her husband, Stuart, who had a terrible chronic lung condition.

“I was numb,” she says. “We had abruptly gone into lockdown. My husband’s wellness was deteriorating, I could only activity done a model astatine my newborn first grandchild. To beryllium told I had to person my bosom removed excessively was conscionable surreal. I couldn’t process it astatine nan time.”

Alison was told nary bosom reconstructions were being carried retired owed to lockdown restrictions but ne'er heard thing further from her doctors. It was only acknowledgment to a chance speech connected a autobus pinch personification who worked astatine her section infirmary that she learned nan waiting database had reopened successful summertime 2021.

But erstwhile she managed to get an appointment, she was told she was a chromatic (6kg) excessively dense to subordinate nan waiting list. When her hubby died a fewer months later, she struggled to negociate her weight while grieving. She besides recovered it difficult to workout pinch 1 breast. “I tried aqua-aerobics but [the prosthesis] bobbed disconnected crossed nan pool,” she says.

Having reached nan target weight successful 2024, she was yet approved for reconstruction room successful February 2025. “I wholly collapsed down,” she says. “I was yet capable to grieve for this portion of my assemblage that I had lost. At nan aforesaid time, I felt nan condolences of knowing I would person to spell done this room without my husband.”

But an admin correction meant Alison was mistakenly referred arsenic a tegument crab diligent and had to restart nan process, truthful she only joined nan 65-week waiting database successful June 2025. She has been told she should get room by September.

“Mentally, it has been a horrendous journey,” she says. “If I had been capable to person nan reconstruction astatine nan clip of nan mastectomy, I wouldn’t beryllium carrying each this other condolences now astir what’s happened to my body, connected apical of losing my husband.”

A spokesperson for Manchester University NHS instauration spot says it “sincerely apologises” for nan admin correction and has since introduced a caller physics referral system. “We understand really important reconstructive room is to betterment and affectional wellbeing aft bosom crab and we dainty each our patients based connected objective priority,” they add.

The bequest of nan pandemic besides continues to impact reconstruction waiting times for caller bosom crab patients.

Rebecca Joselyn, now 43, had 1 bosom removed successful December 2023 but was precocious advised she is improbable to get a reconstruction earlier nan extremity of 2027. As a 34GG, Rebecca is successful utmost discomfort arsenic she awaits nan reconstruction of her missing breast. Her dense prosthetic has to beryllium worn successful a typical bra, which she describes arsenic “the ugliest point connected nan planet”.

Rebecca Joselyn, a silversmith, is waiting for reconstruction room aft a mastectomy successful 2023. Photograph: Courtesy of Rebecca Joselyn

“It’s awful,” she says. “It has wholly destroyed my confidence.” Her intelligence wellness has been affected and her matrimony has surgery down. “Going done crab is difficult capable without having to spell done this for years afterwards,” she adds.

Like Julie, she is awaiting room astatine Sheffield school infirmary NHS instauration spot (STH). As of past December, 25 of nan 56 reconstruction patients astatine nan spot had been waiting astatine slightest 3 years for surgery, according to information obtained by campaigners nether nan Freedom of Information Act and seen by nan Guardian.

Rebecca was incapable to person a reconstruction astatine nan clip of her bosom removal, arsenic she was excessively unwell from immunotherapy curen beforehand. At that point, she was told to expect to hold 12 to 18 months for reconstruction.

Ever since, she has received conflicting messages astir nan magnitude of nan wait. After respective appointments, she was called successful for a “preoperative appointment” successful December 2025. She believed this would mean getting a room day wrong 12 weeks. But erstwhile she called successful February, she received a devastating update confirming she had astir 2 much years to wait.

“I collapsed down successful tears,” she says. “I can’t move connected from crab while I look for illustration this. Every clip I spot my assemblage I’m reminded of what I went through. All I agelong for is to consciousness normal again. Of course, I americium grateful I person not sewage cancer, but I person sewage nary life.”

She has looked into paying privately for room but, astatine £48,000, it is excessively overmuch for her to borrow. As a self-employed silversmith, she cancelled her plans to be nan year’s waste and acquisition fairs and exhibitions to guarantee she was free for surgery. “My income has been demolished,” she adds.

The spot has now clarified nan December assignment was portion of a lengthy process of approving Rebecca to subordinate nan waiting list. Jane McNicholas, main aesculapian serviceman astatine STH, admits nan spot has not been “explicit enough” astir explaining nan referral process pinch patients. “We are very sorry that immoderate patients, including Rebecca and Julie, person been waiting longer than we would like, and understand their vexation and distress,” she says, adding nan spot was “improving connection pinch patients” and it was urgently trying to reside nan delays.

Louise Grimsdell, elder objective caregiver master astatine nan kindness Breast Cancer Now, says location has been important variety successful nan services offered by different trusts earlier and aft nan pandemic. “While immoderate advancement has been made successful caller years to rectify nan issues down nan delays, we’d for illustration to spot nan NHS prioritising expanding capacity, successful position of nan number of trusts offering bosom reconstruction surgery, theatre availability, and having capable specialists trained up to transportation it out,” she says.

Many of nan crab survivors waiting for reconstruction unrecorded successful dream of getting a uncommon last-minute cancellation slot. But it is not ever imaginable to perpetrate to awesome surgery, which carries a 12-week betterment time, pinch arsenic small arsenic 24 hours’ notice.

In October 2024, Julie had been awake for 24 hours astatine her father’s bedside arsenic he died, erstwhile she sewage a telephone to opportunity location had been a cancellation for a room slot nan pursuing day. “I panicked because I was shell-shocked. I said it was a bad time: my begetter had virtually conscionable died, location was a ceremonial to arrange,” she says. “I regretted saying nary and called backmost 20 minutes later but it was excessively late: nan slot was gone.”

Finally, she sewage different telephone past period offering a reconstruction room day astatine nan extremity of April. If it goes ahead, it will beryllium astir 5 years since her bosom was removed. “Every week for years I person waited for that call,” she says. “I still don’t situation to ideate that it will spell ahead, that I will person nan room and this nightmare could yet beryllium over.”