Brasserie Constance, London Sw6: ‘a Souped-up Corporate Box With Meticulous Food’ – Restaurant Review | Grace Dent On Restaurants

Over a luncheon astatine Brasserie Constance successful Fulham, westbound London, eating my main people claypot chickenhearted pinch barley while surrounded by smiling diners astatine different tables, I sewage a glimpse of really it must consciousness to beryllium Kim Jong-un. My travel to Fulham Pier had been overseas enough, but now I was successful my Great Dictator era.

Actually, possibly I should upwind backmost a little. Even uncovering Brasserie Constance had been a spot of an issue, not slightest because this caller “neighbourhood restaurant” from nan well-loved cook Adam Byatt is not rather what’s advertised. Constance, nan website says, is connected nan banks of nan Thames, “where nan river’s beauty is connected afloat display”. It is simply a edifice named successful tribute to nan mid-20th-century florist, potter and cook Constance Spry, a doyenne of home bliss who is nan inspiration for this prestigious brasserie wherever coronation chickenhearted paté en croute, potted duck pinch damson and Devon split pinch mead and greengages are connected offer. So far, truthful dreamy.

‘A showstopper’: Brasserie Constance’s crab vol-au-vent pinch coronation remoulade.

I had not antecedently heard of Fulham pier, but this sounded for illustration a associated designed to snare nan long-lunch, deep-pocket River Cafe religious pinch nan likes of day-boat skate helping pinch lovage and baked alaska for afters. One point Brasserie Constance surely does not mention connected its dreamy, quasi-pastoral website is that it is fundamentally a souped-up firm container wrong Craven Cottage, Fulham Football Club’s ground. In fact, your first hint to that truth will astir apt beryllium erstwhile nan taxi driver turfs you retired by nan summons kiosk. Signage guiding you from location to Brasserie Constance itself, however, is non-existent. Nada, zilch – not moreover a timely Post-it statement stuck to nan summons agency door; moreover nan Craven Cottage unit seemed not to person heard of nan caller restaurant’s existence.

My luncheon companion and I wandered astir wrong nan club’s trading suites, opening doors into firm boxes and conscionable looking for lunch. Eventually, we recovered an opulent, no-expense-spared room that looked for each nan world for illustration nan backstage eating action connected a luxury liner. Why not conscionable opportunity upfront that Brasserie Constance is simply a fancy edifice designed for nan prawn sandwich brigade whom Roy Keane erstwhile so famously scoffed at?

Brasserie Constance’s claypot chickenhearted for two, pinch a herby, beery barley sauce.

We sat astatine our array successful a deserted restaurant. The warm, knowledgeable unit seemed alternatively shocked to spot america – 2 existent midweek lunchtime guests. Soon, a flurry of guidance huddled successful a corner, nary uncertainty mumbling to each different that a professional was connected nan premises. We ordered a vessel of hot, crisp fried skate knobs pinch tartare condiment and a information of delightful maize and greenish chilli tarts. Both lovely. We demolished an outstanding Dorset crab vol-au-vent pinch curry remoulade, a showstopper of sweet, flaky pastry pinch beautifully dressed crab meat. We waited for a portion of that coronation chickenhearted paté en croute, which was a tad barren by nan clip it arrived, because its condiment had each but evaporated into nan cold, pastry-encased chicken. Brasserie Constance is everything you’d expect of an Adam Byatt restaurant: good produce, meticulously deliberated complete and, largely, cooked pinch superior aplomb.

Then thing overseas happened. The array adjacent to america filled up pinch a group of twentysomethings and, soon after, different array did likewise, past another, until location were 5 jam-packed tables astir us, each merrily going done nan motions of having lunch, although, curiously, nary of them seemed to person been offered menus aliases had orders taken. In fact, connected person inspection, not overmuch nutrient was connected those tables, either. It was almost arsenic if they were miming having a meal.

The claypot chicken, a sharer for two, was presented to america successful its cookware for inspection, past whisked away, carved, shredded and mixed pinch a herby barley sauce. A broadside of carrots successful sunflower seeds had crunch and vigour, while a Russian crockery was a joyous cacophony of caller potatoes and greenish beans. We moved connected to a hulking-great portion of delightful and moist treacle, day and walnut tart, complete pinch a generous jug of pouring cream, astatine which constituent nan penny yet dropped.

Brasserie Constance’s ‘hulking-great portion of delightful, moist and sating’ treacle, day and walnut tart pinch pouring cream.

“They’re not having lunch!” I said, pointing astatine nan adjacent table. “They’re conscionable pretending to for us!”

“Oh my god, yes!” my impermanent replied. “They’re astir apt each from nan trading teams who activity connected this floor.”

We stared astatine nan clone customers, who studiously pretended not to spot us. As we vanished dessert and I paid nan bill, each array emptied 1 by one, each seemingly chuntering “Rhubarb, rhubarb” arsenic nan extras – sorry, diners – wandered backmost to their offices aft a fictitious lunch. “This is really Kim Jong-un must consciousness each clip he leaves nan house,” I said.

Brasserie Constance is easy nan weirdest edifice acquisition I person had successful spring/summer 2025. But autumn/winter is each to play for.

Brasserie Constance Level 1, Fulham Pier, Stevenage Road, London SW6, 020-3002 5221. Open luncheon Tues-Sun, noon-2.30pm (4.30pm Sun); meal Tues-Sat, 6-9.30pm. From astir £60 a caput à la carte, positive drinks and service.

• The adjacent section of Grace’s Comfort Eating podcast is retired connected Tuesday 30 September – perceive to it here.