A Moment That Changed Me: I Gave Up Meat At 16 – And Learned How To Say No

I became a pescatarian erstwhile I was 16. At nan time, I wasn’t alert of immoderate different vegetarians aliases pescatarians successful my family aliases adjacent group, but it seemed for illustration an evident prime for me.

It was nan 1980s and BSE – nan dispersed of which would soon consequence successful a nationalist crisis – had precocious appeared successful nan UK. Emerging grounds and investigation indicated that eating nutrient could beryllium detrimental to a person’s health. That, added to nan horrific smell that wafted from nan adjacent tannery successful Yarm and an abattoir conscionable up nan roadworthy successful Stockton-on-Tees, was capable to person maine that eschewing nutrient was nan correct call.

It seems difficult to ideate now, but my determination was regarded arsenic highly unusual by my loved ones, a definite motion of audacious insurrection. Nonconformity wasn’t thing that was particularly weighted successful a lower-middle-class family successful nan north-east of England astatine that time. People would person mostly preferred it if I did arsenic I was told. As a consequence of my unfathomable dietary preferences, mealtimes garnered a groundhog-day quality, peppered pinch endless, somewhat dispute questions astir what I would aliases wouldn’t eat.

‘Nonconformity wasn’t thing that was particularly valued’ … Adele Parks (left) pinch her mother and sister. Photograph: Courtesy of Adele Parks

“You’ll eat a spot of turkey astatine Christmas, surely?” family would say.

“No, I won’t,” I’d reply, again.

“But turkey is Christmas.”

“Turkey is poultry.”

“This seems for illustration a fad. Put immoderate nutrient connected her plate.”

And truthful it went. But moreover erstwhile I was served meat, I ate astir it. I stuck to my guns.

To me, taking a determination connected what I wanted to put successful my assemblage seemed perfectly reasonable and straightforward; aft all, it was my body. I was often asked if the self-denial was an effort to enactment slim aliases to tie attraction to myself. Food preferences are a privilege of nan good fed, truthful immoderate felt I was moralising – it seemed that my individual choices made others consciousness worse astir themselves. I remember friends discussing whether my assumed limitations in the room would little my societal attractiveness (“a man needs a woman who tin navigator meat”). Many thought that I must beryllium that thing dreaded successful women: politically aware. And they were correct – I was.

‘Many thought I must beryllium politically aware. I was.’ 16-year-old Parks (centre) astatine school. Photograph: Courtesy of Adele Parks

My pescatarianism led to greater activism arsenic I became informed astir bigger wellness and biology issues. I was soon recovered protesting extracurricular Boots, waving a placard that insisted connected “beauty without cruelty”. I publication Linda McCartney’s 1984 question and reply successful nan Vegetarian Society mag and started to perceive to nan Beatles conscionable because George Harrison and Paul McCartney were committed vegetarians. I was not trying to frighten anyone’s civilized identity. I conscionable didn’t for illustration nan thought of eating flesh.

I politely declined nutrient astatine slightest doubly a time for years. Once my parents accepted I was serious, I still had to person boyfriends’ mothers, waiting unit astatine restaurants, almost everyone I met successful Italy (where I spent a twelvemonth successful my early 20s) and perfectly everyone I met successful Botswana (where I spent 2 years successful my mid-20s). When I went to university, successful 1987, nan vegetarians were made to beryllium astatine different array (“for ease”); clearly, we were seen arsenic oddities. When I suffered a slipped disc, 1 expert went truthful acold arsenic to propose nan origin was nan deficiency of nutrient successful my diet.

Looking back, I spot really I was shaped by these challenges. I had grown up arsenic a people-pleaser, excessively obedient, seeking support from others arsenic a measurement of my ain self-worth. I feigned liking successful different people’s hobbies, I overcommitted my clip and I took the blasted for things that weren’t my work successful a changeless quest to support nan bid and make everyone consciousness cheerful. Developing a penchant for really I wanted to unrecorded my life and protect my assemblage taught maine to found boundaries. Often, it was simply swapping a lamb chop for a portion of halloumi, but it was awesome believe for nan large stuff. Every clip breakfast, luncheon and meal were served, I sewage amended astatine saying nary – thing women, successful particular, are not needfully very bully at.

Learning to articulate what made maine consciousness comfortable, weighted and happy gave maine assurance that lasted good into my big life. Over nan years, I person had nan courageousness to ask for promotions and salary rises; I person asked group to time off and to stay; I person apologised and asked for apologies; I person recovered seats astatine galore tables. Speaking up and speaking retired for what you judge successful takes practice.

Being a pescatarian is now considered uncontroversial. Even so, I americium grateful for nan baptism of fire that I endured arsenic an “oddball”. These days, I observe immoderate level of eccentricity aliases moreover obtuseness – it keeps group willing and interesting.