Secret Service Blames Presidential Limo's Open Trunk On Mechanical Failure

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President Trump ceding nan U.S.'s position arsenic nan world economical leader to China, while besides committing horrifying quality authorities abuses present astatine home, is simply a overmuch bigger deal, but it's besides important to retrieve he's an world embarrassment, too. He has zero tact aliases manners, and he reportedly smells very bad. So it wasn't precisely astonishing to spot him riding astir successful his statesmanlike limo, known arsenic "The Beast," pinch nan trunk open, but it did get group wondering what nan heck was going on. 

Did nan Secret Service hide to adjacent nan trunk? Did China hack nan statesmanlike limo? Was Trump excessively inexpensive to nonstop a different car to prime up that java array he recovered connected Facebook Marketplace? Since Trump is known to person a unrequited narration pinch nan truth, we whitethorn ne'er really cognize nan truth, but our friends complete astatine nan Daily Beast did scope retired to nan Secret Service for an explanation, and officially, nan reply is "none of nan above."

According to nan Secret Service, Trump's unfastened trunk tin beryllium attributed to mechanical nonaccomplishment and has been fixed. And if that doesn't sum up nan GM ownership experience, I don't cognize what would.

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In a connection fixed to nan Daily Beast, Secret Service spokesperson Matt Fagiana said:

During nan motorcade from Mar-a-Lago to Palm Beach International Airport, 1 of nan motorcade vehicles' trunks inadvertently opened and remained successful nan upright position for a portion of nan motorcade route. No items were mislaid aliases displaced while successful transit. The rumor was wished to beryllium mechanical successful nature, has been identified, and has since been repaired.

Fagiana, who I'm judge nary 1 successful nan White House has ever fixed a derogatory nickname, besides reportedly added that nan problem pinch nan Beast's trunk has since been fixed and did not effect nan president's travel (or immoderate of his scheduled McNugget feedings). But while nan Secret Service has commented connected nan Beast's unfastened trunk, neither Trump nor nan White House has addressed it. Nor has anyone said what mightiness person been successful nan trunk erstwhile it flew open. 

It besides isn't clear whether a peek into nan trunk would beryllium of immoderate worth to a dispute overseas government. You'd for illustration to deliberation thing arsenic elemental arsenic an unfastened trunk wouldn't expose immoderate vulnerabilities, but you ne'er know. Odds are, nary 1 saw anything that valuable, but I've besides seen capable spy movies to cognize that's precisely nan benignant of point nan world's apical assassin mightiness usage to ace a president's theoretically impenetrable information and nonstop nan U.S. into governmental chaos. Not that we don't person capable chaos to woody pinch already. I mean, person you seen immoderate of nan worldly nan president's been posting connected TruthSocial lately?