Save The Entire 1987 Qpr Squad To The Cloud: My Mental Rolodex Is Too Full Of Past Players | Max Rushden

I managed to watch past Saturday’s Match of nan Day without knowing nan scores. It really is 1 of life’s enduring thrills. So nan first clip I’d seen aliases heard of Loum Tchaouna was erstwhile he picked up nan shot successful nan 68th infinitesimal astatine Turf Moor, looked astir a spot and thought: “Sod it, I’ll conscionable whack it from here.” And how! What a superb measurement to present himself to my encephalon – which was possibly not his eventual goal; successful this lawsuit a extremity was very overmuch his eventual goal.

By nan clip of this last-on-MOTD wonderstrike, I’d evidently spent nan erstwhile hr watching various different footballers astatine activity – astir of them beautiful familiar. The overseas 1 did require a cursory Google. Who is Eli Kroupi? Who are each these Chelsea players? Do they really person nan aforesaid sized squad arsenic each nan different teams? If I was cloning footballers successful a laboratory and slipping them into nan Champions League squad, I’d telephone them Reggie Walsh.

After Tchaouna’s beauty, I decided against looking this feline up. Partly to conscionable savour nan moment, and partially for fearfulness of awesome anticlimax. The truth he is playing for Burnley (no disrespect, etc) suggests his YouTube highlights reel won’t scope that level. They are truthful often group to somewhat overenergetic Europop pinch immoderate hasty cuts conscionable earlier nan subordinate gives distant possession aliases balloons 1 complete nan bar.

But to beryllium deadly serious, possibly it was much, overmuch bigger than that. At immoderate infinitesimal between Kroupi and our friend Loum, had I reached my elastic limit of footballers? A limp spring, nary much disk space. Manage storage, delete your WhatsApp conversations and your duplicated photos, prevention nan full 1987 QPR squad to nan cloud. Give £3.99 a period to nan man for different gigabyte. There is nary room astatine nan inn.

There are conscionable truthful galore footballers. They support appearing, each year, younger than nan past ones. Fifteen-year-olds successful nan Premier League, now calved truthful precocious that I haven’t heard of what was No 1 connected nan time of their commencement because it’s excessively modern.

Perhaps this is what being aged is. Looking astir and conscionable seeing a neverending convoy of caller people. Is it acceptable to request caller footballers do much than conscionable 1 point earlier I enmesh them into nan Rolodex of players that swirls measurement excessively adjacent nan beforehand of my brain? There’s a bouncer opinionated extracurricular that peculiar cortex pinch a clipboard and an earpiece yelling “One in, 1 out” to an ever expanding statement of teenagers successful an array of Premier League football kits.

Max meet Eli, Eli meet Max: nan Bournemouth guardant celebrates his first extremity against Crystal Palace. Photograph: MI News/NurPhoto/Shutterstock

More fruits of nan Loum, if you will, and I’ll driblet retired Ian Juryeff, and bring you in. A spot for illustration making friends erstwhile you’re 46. I’ve already sewage immoderate bully ones. I’m time-poor, exhausted and can’t look wading done mini talk astir siblings and whether you bask Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves arsenic overmuch arsenic I do. If you want to break into my apical 50 now, you’ve frankly sewage to beryllium bonzer – and I’m not giving capable backmost to merit that benignant of effort.

It is funny that pinch footballers, you conscionable adhd and adhd and adhd and ne'er delete. This bulging, unaudited list … will it ever burst? There are astir apt podcasts and supplement takers connected Instagram who show you really to free your mind of worthless accusation for illustration this truthful you tin scope immoderate benignant of higher level of existence. That is of course, if location is simply a higher level than being capable to callback nan Crystal Palace starting XI successful nan 1990 FA Cup last – Gary O’Reilly and Phil Barber took me a while.

Depending connected your vintage, your blank canvas whitethorn person been infiltrated successful overmuch nan aforesaid measurement arsenic mine. Dad relentlessly telling maine astir Gilzean and Greaves, uncovering communal crushed pinch Glenn Hoddle. More ingredients: adhd 1 packet of Top Trumps from Clive’s house. Martin Buchan, Gordon McQueen – ever spell tallness pinch McQueen, 6ft 3½in. Unbeatable – nan taller nan amended for mid-80s Top Trumps. Diego Maradona was nothing; a precocious centre of gravity was key.

Regular listeners will cognize of my obsession pinch nan unspectacular, solid, run-of-the-mill footballer, ideally of nan 90s. I’m astonished that I’ve ne'er written astir it earlier (please don’t check). Stir successful Panini 86 and 87. Norwich City. Kevin Drinkell, Dale Gordon, Wayne Biggins, Ian … Butterworth, Shoot posters each complete my room of John Ebbrell and Nico Claesen.

Add to this nan real-life players I saw astatine nan Abbey. George Reilly, Steve Spriggs, Martin Robinson, Keith Branagan. And past an detonation of footballer aft footballer zinging into my consciousness. TV: Saint and Greavsie, Football Focus, TransWorld Sport. Gary Mabbutt talking astir glucosuria connected Zig Zag. Bobby Barnes missing penalties for Northampton Town connected Anglia News. A video recorder! 101 Greatest Goals: Zico, Sócrates, nan perplexing John Barnes. The Premier League connected Sky – Teddy Sheringham for Forest, apical right-hand area successful nan first Super Sunday. Andy Sinton for QPR connected Monday Night Football. An Amiga 500. Championship Manager 93. Steve Anthrobus is expected to move overseas astatine nan extremity of the season.

Then play aft play aft play of players lodging themselves successful my encephalon sloppy of expertise aliases longevity – conscionable a magnetic propulsion into a synapse that should cognize better. Romário, Grant Holt, Riquelme, Billy Beall, Chris Marsden, Gus Uhlenbeek, Marians Pahars.

Blink and it’s Loum Tchaouna banging 1 successful for Burnley successful nan autumn of 2025. Forty years of watching, thousands of names. If I’m fortunate I’ve sewage possibly 40 more. Time to put successful a caller difficult thrust to retrieve nan adjacent fewer decades’ worth.