Footloose? More Like Footwreck!

From Málaga to California — No Planes, Part IV

Never, ever, ever — and I mean ne'er — should a Line Dancing people beryllium scheduled correct aft a Whiskey Tasting. Because erstwhile that happens, my friends… you instantly go a nationalist hazard for excessive tasting — nan ship’s astir wanted, pinch a bounty connected your caput and a solid still successful your hand.

The Whiskey Tasting sounded truthful sophisticated. Educational, even. Spectacular aged spirits successful exotic oak barrels… glowing for illustration liquid amber. Legendary houses. Craftsmanship. Stories. Oh, what a delight!

But travel on… 10 a.m.? Seriously?

It’s a pity, really — specified a cultural, acquisition talk… because aft truthful overmuch tasting and swaying, by nan end, you can’t retrieve a azygous point you heard. Not moreover your ain name! By then, they could show america whiskey was aged successful unicorn horns… and we’d each motion wisely, murmuring, “Ah yes… very peaty indeed.”

Then, successful those dizzy moments, I thought: Please, please, cipher show maine wherever nan buffet is!!!

And of course, correct after… Line Dancing.

Front row, naturally. Hero stance. Step one: back. Step two: spin. By measurement three… location betwixt Footloose and Dirty Dancing. With nan vessel rocking gently… let’s conscionable opportunity my “moves” took connected a life of their own.

I stomped connected Mr. Macallan’s foot… tripped into Mrs. Glenmorangie… and realized: I was little John Travolta… much Moby Dick pinch 2 near feet.

Luckily, by that day, I had discovered a fewer brilliant shortcuts — beforehand desk, eating room, theatre’s champagne evenings… strategical locations everywhere.

And nan buffet? Nope. My stateroom.

Engineered emergency routes. Safety first. Survival first. Genius way perfected. So nary matter really indulgent nan session… I could scope my compartment successful nether six minutes flat.

But astir importantly, erstwhile travelling by boat, nan camaraderie and nan friendships past acold longer than a level thrust — nary matter if you’re heading to Australia aliases New York. A vessel is for illustration a floating micro-city, where everything happens. One excessively galore vino tastings and you mightiness meet nan emotion of your life, person a whirlwind romance, argue, reconcile, walk a fewer days connected a floating honeymoon… and moreover get joined earlier you scope port.

And if it’s a longer cruise, good — you mightiness moreover person clip for nan divorce, too.

I still haven’t recovered nan buffet, though.

Next chapter? Dining, theatre, and nan library… enactment tuned. To beryllium continued…