Expat Parenting In Spain: Raising Kids Without Your ‘village’ Nearby

I moved from nan UK to Manilva, Spain, backmost successful 2022 pinch my hubby and 9-month-old daughter. There person been galore ups and galore downs. It surely takes a while to set to nan caller culture, climate, and measurement of life pinch a babe successful tow.

This play it was my husband’s birthday, and we enjoyed a very uncommon nighttime distant together astatine nan Elba Thalasso Spa Hotel successful Estepona. (It was a beautiful stay, and I’d surely urge it!) Our friends looked aft our daughter, and it sewage maine reasoning astir really galore day nights we person missed retired connected since surviving present owed to not having our ‘village’ adjacent – adjacent family and friends. While we whitethorn person lacked successful adult-only time, we person surely gained successful different ways since choosing to unrecorded successful Spain.

Sunrise astatine Elba Thalasso Hotel successful Estepona. Credit: Letara Draghia

Moving to Spain pinch kids mightiness sound idyllic. You’ve sewage sunshine, safety, sangria and siestas, but expat parenting besides comes pinch immoderate grade of isolation and linguistic slip-ups astatine nan doctors. How do overseas families header erstwhile they time off their ‘village’ behind?

The loneliness of parenting while surviving abroad

One of nan astir difficult shifts for expat parents is losing nan instant support web of grandparents and lifelong friends. As Liz McEwan put it, “It takes a village… and erstwhile location is nary village, it tin sometimes look lonely and tiring” (International School Parent).

Rachel Carrell, penning astir parenting successful London acold from her New Zealand-based family, confessed: “I envy those of my friends who are ‘from’ London pinch tons of family adjacent by… They spell to nan grandkids’ nativity plays and watch their concerts. Aunts, uncles, cousins everywhere” (LinkedIn).

Many expat parents capable this void by building what Sincerely Spain calls a chosen village: “Community is astir emotion a consciousness of belonging and support from those astir you, including neighbours and section merchants, for illustration nan seller astatine your section frutería” (Sincerely Spain).

For us, we person been fortunate capable to person some family surviving adjacent and friends who besides chose to move to Spain conscionable a twelvemonth aft we did. To beryllium honest, without them, I deliberation we would person struggled to settle. We person made immoderate friends since surviving here, but personally, we only usage childcare from group who we are very adjacent to.

Spain’s civilization embraces children and relaxed parenting

In Spain, parenting tin beryllium much public, relaxed, and a small loud. Children are invited successful bars and restaurants and are very seldom rushed disconnected to bed. You’ll often spot babies and toddlers sleeping successful their prams aliases pushchairs while parents bask nutrient and drinks. This was thing that attracted america to Spain pinch a young child. We wanted to consciousness little judged for bringing our babe retired pinch us. In nan UK, you tin often get looks of ‘what’s that babe doing present truthful late?’, whereas successful Spain, nary 1 bats an eyelid. As ThinkSpain puts it, “It is very communal to spot moreover nan youngest children playing unsupervised connected a parkland whilst nan parents beryllium 200 metres distant successful a pavement café.”

That Mediterranean vibe tin beryllium jarring for those utilized to early bedtimes. As Catherine from Sunshine and Siestas recalls, “Spanish children spell to furniture highly late… In casually mentioning that my kiddo is usually successful furniture by 9pm, I americium met pinch bewildered looks.”

Still, this inclusive manner intends parents seldom consciousness unit to “escape” their children. Nights retired often go family affairs. As Claudia from Sincerely Spain said, “Sharing this facet of nan Mediterranean manner pinch my small 1 is thing I’ve ever looked guardant to.”

Building a organization from scratch

Without grandparents aliases adjacent family and friends nearby, expat parents person to get into nan mindset of building their ain communities from scratch. Online devices tin thief span nan societal gap. Sincerely Spain mentions Dani who utilized Peanut, an app for mums, to meet different English-speaking parents: “In nan months starring up to my baby’s birth, I connected pinch 4 women… forging these in-person connections pinch different caller parents has been invaluable.”

And erstwhile it each becomes a spot excessively overwhelming, immoderate return it further. As Rachel Carrell wrote, “I discontinue my occupation and founded a startup focused connected childcare… trying to build a childcare work that is (almost) arsenic bully arsenic an extended family” (LinkedIn).

Personally, I recovered that by joining section WhatsApp groups (Manilva Mamas), Facebook groups (Manilva Coffee Chat), and attending mother and baby/toddler classes (Baby Cakes), I was capable to get to cognize section families reasonably quickly. We shared our experiences and knowledge of really to navigate this caller life. I besides put my girl into part-time nursery from nan property of two, which helped maine meet different parents and make friends. Going backmost to nan taxable of day nights, my daughter’s first nursery (Pekita successful Sabinillas) offered a separately paid sleepover work erstwhile a month. I ne'er heard of this backmost successful nan UK.

Language and civilization clashes

Navigating parenthood successful your 2nd connection tin beryllium funny aliases sometimes nerve-wracking. Liz McEwan shared 1 memorable mistake: “I told nan expert that my girl was covered successful chickens… statement to self: chickenhearted pox is not ‘boutons de poulet’ successful French.” (International School Parent)

Beyond translator mishaps, parenting styles tin sometimes clash. Catherine notes, “Spanish families pierce babe girls’ ears while they are a fewer weeks aged aliases moreover astatine nan infirmary earlier being released.” (Sunshine and Siestas)

Another genitor observed, “I unrecorded successful Spain and children are beautiful coddled… It looks for illustration children tally chaotic because they’re outdoors a lot, and it’s true… but they aren’t allowed to spell anyplace alone.” (BuzzFeed)

Pros and cons of raising children successful Spain

Still, astir expats find a unsocial rhythm. As Liz McEwan puts it: “Everyone is doing what they consciousness is correct for them…” (International School Parent).

But Dani says, “Even if you do each nan ‘right things’… you whitethorn still not consciousness supported enough… I decidedly person my moments erstwhile I don’t.” (Sincerely Spain)

I decidedly person had times wherever I questioned if we had done nan correct point – particularly aft sleepless nights pinch my girl and conscionable really wanting a break nan adjacent day. But, I’m gladsome we pushed done and chose to unrecorded here. I still emotion nan weather, nan outdoorsy lifestyle, nan relaxed attitude, and nan lesser costs of living.

Expat parenting: a blessing aliases a battle?

You whitethorn deficiency babysitting offers, and you whitethorn suffer spontaneous day nights, but you will summation closeness arsenic a tight-knit family unit.

Parenting overseas is decidedly a challenge, but it’s besides rich | and rewarding.

Please fto america cognize your experiences below. Have you recovered your ‘village’ abroad?

View each Spanish Living articles.

View each articles by Letara Draghia.