Dr Karl Kruszelnicki: ‘i Took My Hands Off The Artery – Blood Squirted Up And Hit The Ceiling’

You’re astir to springiness a series of talks connected nan history and detonation of AI. Who is your favourite fictional robot?

I conjecture nan robots successful wide from Isaac Asimov. He came up pinch nan 3 laws of robotics, which are fundamentally that a robot has to obey a human, it can’t harm itself, and it can’t harm different human. My favourite robot is 1 [from Asimov’s The Bicentennial Man] that served a family for many, galore years – successful fact, generations – and yet became human.

If you could alteration nan size of immoderate animal to support arsenic a pet, what would it be?

To put a downer connected it, we’re afloat of children and nieces and nephews and grandkids, truthful we don’t want pets. But I do spot nan worth of a pet. It’s tricky. In Australia, cats termination a cardinal birds a day. Dogs are nice, but erstwhile I was a expert successful a kids hospital, erstwhile I realised that dogs would rip nan faces disconnected 15,000 kids each year, I benignant of fell retired of emotion pinch large dogs. So I reckon dogs. Shrink them down. A separator collie, they’re nan smartest dog.

What do you do erstwhile you can’t get to sleep?

Get up, activity for a bit, past spell to slumber again erstwhile I consciousness tired. If I’m awake capable to do stuff, I’ll do stuff. I emotion reading. My occupation is to publication nan technological lit and move it into worldly that group tin understand.

I’ve been reference articles astir really we’ve sewage this history of quality diseases complete nan past 37,000 years, and really galore diseases person really invaded our DNA, aliases really immoderate frogs will clone decease to debar sex, aliases really nan French successful nan early 1800s had nan awesome moustache wars, aliases nan TV viewing habits of dogs. Or nan connection “cool” – wherever did it travel from, and what’s nan conception down it? Or nan magnitude of power utilized from AI to make a azygous picture, arsenic opposed to a human, aliases why you get postulation jams successful nan mediate of nowhere, aliases really you usage earwax arsenic a diagnostic tool. Or, if you get a shark and move it upside down, astir half nan type will conscionable extremity moving.

And that’s conscionable today’s reading!

What is your astir arguable technological opinion?

The 2 large ones would person to beryllium ambiance alteration and vaccination, and nan contention down them is conscionable pointless. You cognize how security companies are making it much expensive successful definite areas to insure because of utmost events caused by ambiance change? OK, truthful erstwhile do you deliberation nan security companies started doing that? 1973! [It wasn’t until 1980 that] fossil substance companies, pinch a fund of up to a cardinal dollars a year, started denying ambiance change. And that’s why I’ve sewage this alleged controversy.

What is nan oldest point you own, and why do you still person it?

I’ve sewage a spot of stone from a mining tract that was dated to 1bn years old. I’ve besides a meteor that my begetter saw onshore successful our beforehand plot erstwhile I was a kid, and nan adjacent morning, we went retired to excavation it up. I reckon that’d beryllium a mates of cardinal years old. It’s astir nan size of a play ball. It’s now connected nan show support halfway up nan stairs.

Would you alternatively dice astatine nan bottommost of nan water aliases retired successful space?

Probably space. But it depends really it happens. One point I learned arsenic a aesculapian expert is that everybody has to die, but you should person a bully death. We had 1 diligent who had crab of nan everything, and she was really going to die. We made it our individual task that she’d person a bully death. We ended up cranking her morphine from 5mg a time to 30,000 – that’s a large jump, isn’t it? Her legs were nan diameter of your wrist by nan clip she died, but she didn’t dice successful pain. So that convinced me, I want to person a bully death.

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If you’re in, say, a submarine, and past nan unit overcomes nan structural integrity of nan vessel’s walls, past you’re dormant successful astir a tenth of a second, a hundredth of a 2nd – whereas successful space, it mightiness return a while to die, possibly a fewer minutes. So whichever 1 was quicker. But nan view’s nicer successful space.

What is nan strangest occupation you’ve ever had?

I started moving astatine nan steelworks astatine Wollongong erstwhile I was astir 19. I ran a small aluminium vessel measuring nan acidity aliases alkalinity of nan h2o successful this small creek wrong nan steelworks. Depending connected whether it was greenish aliases orange, it varied betwixt incredibly acerb and incredibly alkaline. And either way, it would eat done nan tegument of nan aluminium vessel successful astir six months.

Back then, I was taught “the solution to contamination is dilution” – chuck it successful nan ocean, cipher will ever notice. It was beautiful bad backmost then, and hasn’t sewage overmuch amended since.

What is nan astir chaotic point that’s ever happened to you at work?

I was successful an operating theatre. I was assisting. I was really tired. I’d done an incredibly agelong number of shifts, dozens of hours successful a row, and I was instructed to thin connected an artery. I started to autumn dormant opinionated up, and nan surgeon said, “Hey, aftermath up, Karl!” I stood up pinch a naughty and took my hands disconnected nan artery – humor squirted up and deed nan ceiling.

If you had to adhd immoderate colour to nan rainbow, what would it be?

Around nan world, nan number of colours that group spot successful nan rainbow varies betwixt 4 and 16. The logic we person 7 colours successful our rainbow is because of Isaac Newton. Besides being 1 of nan existent geniuses, he besides spent much clip connected Bible studies than he did connected science. And each nan measurement done nan Bible nan number 7 comes up each nan time. Based connected him pursuing nan activity of immoderate Muslim scientists, he did an research pinch a prism – for illustration nan Dark Side of Moon medium cover, which, by nan way, is incorrect from a physics constituent of view.

Anyway, he sees these colours. Six colours. But he loves nan Bible, and nan Bible has 7 everywhere, truthful he sticks successful stupid fucking indigo. What benignant of colour is indigo? It’s conscionable blue! So I garbage to adhd different colour to nan rainbow. I’ll spell nan different way; I’ll region indigo and get backmost to six colours.

Lastly, please settee this statement for america erstwhile and for all, scientifically: should herb condiment beryllium kept successful nan fridge aliases nan cupboard?

The problem that you want to avoid is bacterial aliases fungal infection of nan herb sauce. Now, nan herb sauce, I imagine, would beryllium mostly water, and past it’s sewage immoderate varying operation of fat, macromolecule and carbohydrate, which would beryllium foods for germs and yeast. If you instrumentality it successful nan fridge, you really lengthen nan clip earlier nan bacterial aliases fungal overgrowth gets dangerous. But you extremity up successful nan unspeakable business that you shingle and shingle and shingle nan vessel and first nary will come, and past nan batch will because it’s been stiff to a coagulated lump.

So nan statement for not putting successful nan fridge is that it’ll move much easily. In that case, you request to really observe, and if you commencement to spot nan first hint of bacterial aliases fungal contamination, provender it to nan compost and get different bottle.

It sounds for illustration you’re pro-cupboard, pro-observation.

Well, life’s complicated. Nothing’s simple. I’m sorry. I’m astir apt overcomplicating life.

• Dr Karl will look astatine 3 events astatine Tasmania’s Beaker Street festival, 12-24 August