‘£30 For A Ready Meal?!’ Do Charlie Bigham’s New Dishes Really Beat Going To A Restaurant?

Like Tesla cars and nan ending of nan Sopranos, Charlie Bigham fresh meals look to beryllium alternatively divisive. On nan 1 hand, group intelligibly emotion them: astir 31m dishes were sold successful nan past twelvemonth alone. On nan different hand, they make a heap of mockery. The critique seems to beryllium that only a gullible idiot would ammunition retired up to a tenner connected an oven-ready food pie, chilli con carne aliases – arsenic 1 commentator erstwhile memorably labelled it – a tray of “Tory slop”.

Those critics will beryllium sharpening their room knives because Bigham, who is simply a benignant of Tim “Wetherspoons” Martin for centrist dads, has conscionable announced nan motorboat of his Brasserie range: deluxe versions of his meals pinch prices that fetch up to … hold for it … £30! Thirty full English pounds!

With a paper consisting of venison bourguignon, coq au vin, confit duck (all astatine £16.95) and 2 wellingtons (salmon for £19.95 and beef astatine £29.95), these creations are intelligibly not trying to compete pinch your common-or-garden Tesco lasagne. Bigham is evidently alert that these days you person to remortgage your grandma successful bid to spend a repast out, truthful he’s attempting to return connected nan edifice acquisition itself. Why spell retired to mingle pinch strangers successful nan caller evening air, he’s saying, erstwhile you tin beryllium successful your room surrounded by children’s felt-tips and a half-eaten container of Shreddies instead? To adhd to nan dining-out vibe, Bigham recommends a circumstantial Waitrose vino for each meal, which we duly buy.

From left: Tim Jonze, Helen Jane and friends Lliam and Nick trying nan coq au vin. Photograph: Sophia Evans/The Guardian

Look, if anyone is going to autumn for this wheeze, it’s me, because my culinary confession is that I do rather for illustration a spot of Tory slop from clip to time. Eating retired is difficult pinch 2 young children, and truthful we induce Charlie into our house, figuratively speaking, to service america a lasagne aliases a chickenhearted tikka masala (both tiny, some tasty). It’s arsenic bully arsenic a takeaway, overmuch cheaper and seems vaguely healthier.

Still, that’s nan modular range. Can immoderate prepared repast really beryllium worthy these latest prices? Time to get my foodiest friends complete – including a erstwhile chef, nary less! – to trial them retired …

Coq au vin

Coq au vin pinch potatoes dauphinoise and Tim’s greenish beans. Photograph: Sophia Evans/The Guardian

Bigham dislikes nan word “ready meals”. It implies thing loaded pinch chemicals that you tin whiz up successful nan microwave successful minutes, whereas his creations require baking and moreover impact a touch of due cooking – nan caller wellingtons tin beryllium enhanced by brushing nan pastry pinch a beaten egg, and it’s advised that nan coq successful this coq au vin is taken retired of its condiment and placed connected a abstracted tray to crisp up. It useful – benignant of – and nan chickenhearted is delightfully juicy. Guests are impressed by nan murphy and celeriac dauphinoise, but erstwhile it comes to nan condiment of chestnut mushrooms, chantenay carrots and bacon, nan sumptuous extent of flavour that comes from simmering chickenhearted bones successful a load of vino for ages is decidedly lacking.

Wine pairing Dominique Piron Beaujolais Villages, £14.40
Rating 6/10

Confit duck

Confit duck pinch potatoes dauphinoise and Tim’s greenish beans. Photograph: Sophia Evans/The Guardian

“Oh my God, this is delicious,” state astatine slightest 3 of my guests. Sadly, they’re talking astir nan chianti we’re having pinch nan duck alternatively than nan duck itself, which emerges from nan oven looking perfectly appetising but is disappointingly barren beneath nan garlic-parmesan crumb. It comes pinch a smudge of lentil condiment and immoderate sliced potatoes pinch nutty browned butter, some of which impressment my guests much than nan nutrient itself.

Wine pairing Villa Cafaggio Chianti Classico, £16, connected connection for £11 until 28 October
Rating 4/10

Salmon wellington

Salmon wellington. Photograph: Sophia Evans/The Guardian

I was hugely sceptical astir this. Yes, “sashimi-grade salmon” sounded promising – but could it past being baked astatine 200C for 50 full minutes? Surprisingly, it could! This was nan night’s showstopper. It came retired highly good browned but nan pastry was crisp, nan salmon succulent and nan full point was complemented by a gorgeous mushroom duxelles pinch gentle notes of fennel. Ex-chef Lliam, nan benignant of man who would usually sooner pain his room down than demean himself pinch a fresh meal, had to concede that this was bully stuff. Without wanting to get sued for giving anyone salmonella, we agreed it would astir apt beryllium moreover amended if you knocked 5 aliases 10 minutes from nan cooking time.

Wine pairing Chapel Down English Rosé, £16, connected connection for £14 until 28 October
Rating 9/10

Venison bourguignon

Venison bourguignon. Photograph: Sophia Evans/The Guardian

Preconceptions beryllium damned! Just arsenic nan salmon amazed me, truthful did this – and not successful a bully way. I thought a casserole would construe astir easy to nan fresh repast experience, but thing has gone earnestly incorrect here. The nutrient whitethorn good beryllium “wild-caught from nan Scottish Highlands”, but it’s besides terribly barren and nan condiment is excessively scant. The full point lacks nan indulgent comfortableness of a classical bourguignon. Perhaps I miss nan acquisition of cooking one, too, which tin beryllium a pleasance successful itself – from sauteeing nan mini onions successful heart-attack quantities of food to decadently tipping a half-decent vessel of burgundy into nan pan. It’s time-consuming but not peculiarly tricky – and you extremity up pinch thing infinitely much appetising than this. Things are rescued somewhat by nan mash, which is buttery pinch a crisp exterior, and nan crunchy Pinot pairing, which goes down alternatively excessively quickly.

Wine pairing Cave de Lugny Bourgogne Pinot Noir, £17.50, connected connection for £14.50 until 28 October
Rating 2/10

Beef wellington

Beef wellington. Photograph: Sophia Evans/The Guardian

This is nan repast that has been generating each nan “£30 for a bloody fresh meal!” headlines. The point is, a due wellington isn’t really a fresh repast by immoderate modular definition. It’s fundamentally a portion of fillet steak pinch immoderate pastry and mushrooms thrown in. It should costs a lot. Or, to put it different way, nan past point you want to beryllium eating is simply a beef wellington that costs a tenner.

It takes 50 minutes to hole this repast good done, but arsenic we are not complete philistines we instrumentality it successful nan oven for 30 minutes to get it “medium rare”. It emerges nicely crisped and gloriously pinkish inside. Despite needing a bully ace of brackish – and nan distraction of various children wandering successful asking if they tin please spell to furniture now arsenic it’s a schoolhouse nighttime – it’s mostly agreed that this isn’t bad astatine all: tender, succulent, blah blah …

OK, look, by this constituent captious faculties are a small impaired. All 5 bottles of vino person been consumed, nan planned pairing strategy has gone retired of nan model and nan speech is giddily veering from botulism successful South Africa (always a awesome accompaniment to a beef course) to nan astir awesome formed members of nan West End philharmonic Operation Mincemeat. Everyone does, astatine least, look drunk and happy. Maybe I have replicated nan eating retired experience, aft all.

Wine pairing The Hedonist Shiraz, £15.50, connected connection for £11.50 until 28 October
Rating 7/10