When I Met Craig He Was 13 And Homeless. I Still Thought His Life Might Turn Around. I Was Tragically Wrong

Craig was a runaway erstwhile I first met him. Missing from a section children’s home, he spent his days hanging retired successful Nottingham metropolis centre. He had conscionable turned 13 and he was gangly for his age, easy recognisable pinch his blond hair, but he seemed invisible to nan authorities.

No 1 was looking for him aliases nan different twelve children who congregated connected nan marketplace square. Most of them had absconded from care, immoderate were dodging school. A few, for illustration Craig’s mate Mikey, conscionable didn’t fuss going home. The youngest runaway, Mark, claimed he’d been missing from foster attraction for months and had spent his 12th day connected nan run. They were gladsome to person recovered each different and for a week aliases truthful they slept together successful an alleyway. Craig organised bedding. He had picked up immoderate tips from nan knowledgeable unsmooth sleepers, he told me, arsenic he collected cardboard he’d stored down a bin. “Keeps nan acold disconnected your bones,” he said, without confidence. That was his first sensation of being homeless.

It was 1998 and I was successful Nottingham filming Staying Lost, a documentary bid for Channel 4. The number of runaways successful nan UK was astatine situation point. A Children’s Society study estimated that 100,000 children ran distant each year. Our bid group retired to travel some, for illustration Craig, who survived connected nan streets, existing extracurricular nan system. We documented his life arsenic he stumbled from 1 precarious business to nan next. On nan look of it, he seemed unfazed by nan chaos astir him. He was often quiet, watching arsenic thoroughfare dramas played retired successful beforehand of him. It was difficult to publication what he was reasoning and conscionable really mislaid he felt.

Once successful a while, Craig would drawback nan autobus 4 miles up nan roadworthy to nan 1970s property wherever he grew up. I went location pinch him 1 day, half hoping I would find retired nan truth astir why he’d ended up successful attraction successful nan first place. Craig was pleased to show maine information his “manor” arsenic he called it. Teenagers cruised up and down connected bikes that were acold excessively mini for them and location were trainers strung up complete telephone wires. “Thrown up location for a laugh. There’s not overmuch to do information here,” Craig admitted, though he seemed genuinely pleased to beryllium back.

We went into his mum’s. And if I was expecting immoderate clues to his past nan cautiously wiped surfaces and dusted ornaments gave thing away. The location was full, he explained to me. His sister and her babe lived location though his older relative had his ain spot now. His mum made maine a cup of tea, but had small to opportunity to her youngest son. According to her, he was “a nightmare” and his antics, arsenic she called them, were excessively overmuch for her. He’d had his past chance and she’d put him successful care. No 1 could woody pinch him, she told me. It was unclear really overmuch anyone had tried.

Our sojourn was short lived. If he’d ever had a room, it was nary longer available. In fact, location was nary motion near that he’d ever lived there. No constituent successful sticking astir erstwhile you don’t consciousness wanted. So 13-year-old Craig jumped connected nan autobus backmost to municipality and began nan hunt for wherever he would slumber that night.

The novelty of a cardboard mattress had worn bladed and Craig started to activity retired much sheltered places to hide. He called maine erstwhile from a half-derelict squat adjacent nan station. A bloke called Jock was letting him clang successful an aged armchair but it was excessively noisy to sleep. Mates of Jock’s turned up unannounced astatine each hours, pinch unexplained bloody noses and unpredictable tempers.

When nan upwind was OK Craig tried “camping out” connected nan Forest recreation crushed but it was excessively “on top” arsenic he called it. The adjacent red-light territory was engaged and punters cruising past made for an uneasy atmosphere. Shadows slipped successful and retired of nan headlights and Craig knew that girls from nan children’s homes were moving there. He’d heard stories of young boys trading activity successful nan nationalist toilets. It was nan 90s and exploited children were still prosecuted and labelled arsenic “child prostitutes” aliases “rent boys”. After a mates of nights, Craig headed backmost into town.

Every now and again nan constabulary would travel crossed Craig successful nan municipality centre and return him backmost to nan children’s home. Protesting half-heartedly, he would let himself to beryllium put successful nan backmost of nan van. A fewer hours later he’d beryllium back. Nobody astatine nan location stopped him leaving. And cipher asked what he was moving from.

“He was trying to escape,” Jodie Young told maine recently. “You consequence thing worse happening to you erstwhile you tally disconnected but you still consciousness anywhere’s amended than care.” Jodie had been spat retired of nan attraction strategy herself and astatine 18 she was addicted to heroin, putting successful agelong hours begging adjacent nan Midland Bank cashpoint. She became an improbable protector of Craig and nan others, letting them enactment astatine nan level she shared pinch her boyfriend, Dave, and their jack russell, Penny. “I knew they were scared,” she said. “I wanted to springiness them location safe.”

A fewer years earlier, Jodie had spent immoderate clip astatine Beechwood House, nan residential location Craig was missing from. If anyone knew why he had run, it was Jodie. Neither of them talked astir life successful nan home. Whatever nan truth was, they had an unspoken knowing to hide it. For a while, Jodie’s level was a safe place. They had due mattresses connected nan level and sometimes bought Pot Noodles to eat together successful nan evening. Jodie warned nan young runaways against heroin, though she was losing that conflict herself. Above all, location was a emotion that everyone successful nan level was successful nan aforesaid boat. They’d been fto down by everyone whose work was to attraction for them. It was up to them to look retired for each other.

By nan clip filming was coming to an end, this impermanent stableness was over. Jodie and Dave had been evicted, nan small dog, Penny, taken distant and nan level boarded up. Now 14 and a bully ft taller, Craig erstwhile much recovered himself pinch obscurity to go. Even nan constabulary had fixed up taking him backmost to care. It felt for illustration a vulnerable crossroads, truthful I took a chance and suggested a sojourn to his mum’s. After an awkward commencement she grudgingly agreed that he could enactment connected nan sofa for a while. Rules were laid down, promises made and a spare duvet was found. But I didn’t clasp my breath. Things didn’t activity retired and soon capable Craig called letting maine cognize he was connected nan move again.

For 18 months, Craig had trusted america to movie nan reality of his life arsenic a runaway, erstwhile abruptly Nottingham metropolis assembly stepped in claiming they were responsible for him and we had nary right. They sought an injunction to extremity nan documentary from airing but aft a gruelling fewer days being cross-examined successful nan Royal Courts of Justice, nan judgment went successful our favour. Craig was entitled to person his communicative told and Staying Lost was broadcast successful April 2000, erstwhile he was almost 16.

I still hoped that things mightiness move astir for him, but successful nan twelvemonth aft nan movie aired, nan constabulary started picking Craig up for insignificant crimes and earlier agelong he landed up successful a young offender institution. I visited him during that first stint inside. He sewage maine a cup of java from a instrumentality successful nan area of nan visitors’ room. He had an thought of training to beryllium a mechanic but first he’d person to find location to live. He wasn’t judge really he’d negociate that. He was almost a grown man by now, not a privilege for housing. And statistic connected nan destiny of attraction leavers were stacked against him. It wasn’t agelong earlier he knew his situation number by heart.

At first he was still seeing really acold he could return things. When he was astir 19, he came up pinch nan thought of robbing a mini supermarket by pretending he had a weapon successful his pocket. The terrified cashier handed complete nan contents of nan till and he legged it pinch nan lot. But it wasn’t Craig’s style. He was backmost successful nan greeting to move himself in. “I conscionable couldn’t get it retired of my head,” he told a friend later. “I’d frightened nan life retired of that female and I couldn’t unrecorded pinch that.”

Steven Ramsell first encountered him successful 2004. “I person a representation of sitting other Craig successful nan aged dingy Bridewell constabulary station,” Ramsell, who is simply a solicitor advocate, told me. “He was 1 of nan first group I represented. If you looked astatine nan outer husk you’d spot a shop thief, a pest. Yes, he’d commited a load of crime, but it was debased level stuff, and it was nan only point he knew.” Craig drew nan statement astatine location burglary but had go master astatine lifting phones and purses. By nan clip he was 25, Craig was a regular customer and, according to Ramsell, almost incapable of functioning successful modern society. “While I was retired location I conscionable did not cognize really to unrecorded normally,” Craig wrote to maine successful 2017 from HMP Nottingham. “I felt awkward and retired of spot each nan time. It’s nary excuse for nan crimes I did. But I conscionable don’t cognize wherever aliases really to start.”

Craig successful Staying Lost, a 1998 Channel 4 documentary. Photograph: Channel 4

There were group who tried to thief him successful those early years. People who remembered him arsenic a kid fto him usage nan ablution aliases get his caput down for a fewer nights. Some fto him enactment longer. But past Craig would “pay backmost nan favour” by filling nan fridge pinch stolen food, nan constabulary would move up astatine nan door, patience would deterioration out, and he’d beryllium connected his measurement again. “Craig is his ain worst enemy,” group would say.

Over nan adjacent 10 years I often mislaid way of whether he was successful aliases out. Then retired of nan bluish I would reply my telephone to an automated voice. “This telephone is from a personification presently successful a prison. All calls are recorded and whitethorn beryllium listened to by a personnel of situation staff. If you do not wish to judge this call, please bent up now.” Then Craig would travel connected nan line, explaining nan analyzable messiness of arrests and outstanding warrants, recalls and remand hearings that had resulted successful him being locked up again. “How are you doing, Pam?” he would ne'er neglect to ask. And I would effort to find small things to show him, each excessively alert that he’d find it difficult to ideate nan life I led. He liked to perceive wherever I’d been and really my family were and he knew I was relieved to perceive from him.

Often, he would inquire maine to nonstop different DVD transcript of Staying Lost. He was proud of nan film. He ever said it was nan only point he’d ever really finished. He tried to show it to situation officers and volunteers connected nan inside. I deliberation he hoped that by watching it they would get immoderate thought of really overmuch he’d been done and that possibly 1 time personification would travel up pinch nan reply to really he could benignant his life out. But officers were neither inclined nor equipped to ponder prisoners’ life stories. “You should make a follow-up documentary connected me, Pam,” he’d often say. “That’d show group what it’s like, what happened to maine next.” But TV had moved on. I was told by 1 executive that Craig conscionable didn’t person a “TV face”.

Time and again Craig would locomotion retired of nan situation gross pinch nary address. He’d time off pinch nan champion intentions of going to spot his probation officer. But those appointments were often fraught and filled pinch forms and applications he couldn’t handle. And they usually led to a dormant end. So, he’d find a mate to enactment with. Someone who was doing him a favour. I could sometimes perceive nan chaos of those places successful nan inheritance if he called me. “It’s sound here,” Craig would reassure me. But things would soon unravel.

I retrieve really often Craig mislaid his fewer possessions, near successful a lodging aliases astatine a mate’s house. There was usually a stereo, a “really bully one” that he’d not been capable to carry. And ever a brace of trainers he’d managed to time off behind, moreover though nan ones he was wearing were fresh for nan bin. During 1 peculiarly freezing winter, his worldly was mislaid erstwhile he was transferred betwixt jails and he was released into a bitter greeting extracurricular HMP Hull pinch thing much than nan regularisation sweatshirt and trackies he was wearing. I’d called nan situation and tried to inquire them to find apparel for Craig but arsenic accustomed it was intolerable to get through. It was only acknowledgment to nan resourceful and dedicated chaplaincy squad that personification was capable to meet him astatine nan gross pinch a overgarment and scarf from nan mislaid property.

No 1 wakes up successful nan greeting and decides to go a heroin addict, Jodie erstwhile told me. And I’m definite it wasn’t a determination Craig made, but that’s what happened. During his longer stints successful prison, he’d sometimes get connected to a supplier simplification programme and get clean. But narcotics are easy to people down bars, and each excessively often offered a measurement to cope. “I tally backmost to nan drugs,” Craig erstwhile wrote to me, “cos I cognize really to beryllium a druggie, I cognize what I person to do, aliases person to act, wherever different situations I haven’t a clue. Things get excessively affectional for me. I moreover panic erstwhile I’m conscionable attending appointments whether it’s nan jobcentre aliases immoderate I conscionable panic successful my head. I consciousness for illustration I’m 13 years aged again erstwhile I’m out.”

By nan clip he was 33, Craig had 170 offences connected his grounds and was spending little and little clip connected nan outside. “He was institutionalised,” Ramsell told me. He’d been information nan strategy truthful galore times. Any support he sewage was ne'er beardown capable to spark a change. “There should beryllium different option, but location wasn’t,” Ramsell said. “And Craig ever knew what was coming. Back connected nan merry-go-round.” So, successful nan outpouring of 2018 nan doorway of Nottingham situation revolved for Craig again and he was backmost connected nan wing.

During nan months that followed, Craig was successful touch much than usual. At nan time, Nottingham was 1 of nan worst prisons successful nan country. It had precocious been issued an urgent notification from nan main inspector of prisons – essentially, nan institution has been put into typical measures. The tensions that had simmered connected nan wings for years had yet reached boiling point. Officers and prisoners felt unsafe. Drugs, particularly nan noxious synthetic cannabinoid spice, were freely available. Over an 18-month period, 12 prisoners took their ain lives.

“I don’t moreover flight my problems erstwhile I’m asleep,” Craig wrote from his cell. “I unrecorded a nightmare successful nan days and erstwhile I sleep. I conscionable don’t cognize if I tin header nary more. My caput is simply a messiness and nan days are conscionable getting worse for me. I want a remainder from myself.” His telephone calls became desperate, and his letters sewage longer. I worried if I didn’t perceive from him each day. Chaplain John Seeney was instrumental successful getting Craig done that sentence. “We person to bent successful location pinch Craig,” Seeney would opportunity to me. Every Tuesday, Craig would inquire to beryllium fto disconnected nan helping to be nan situation chapel wherever Seeney and nan mini multifaith squad offered a spot to talk and beryllium heard. Craig was location without neglect and moreover started penning immoderate poems singing nan praises of nan support he’d found.

Craig, arsenic seen successful Staying Lost, aged astir 14, being taken backmost to nan children’s location by police. Photograph: Channel 4

And, arsenic if by measurement of a mini miracle, erstwhile Craig was released successful early 2019, Seeney managed to discuss him a room successful a location connected to a religion group successful Ilkeston, a mini municipality extracurricular Nottingham. I travelled up connected nan train and he met maine from nan station. He’d been swimming, he told me, and he’d been to nan room to effort to study really to usage a computer. He had nan cardinal to his shared location connected a agelong drawstring and opened nan door. He had beverage successful nan fridge, and he made maine a cup of tea. We spent a normal day successful nan sunny backmost yard, and I still person a photograph of him pinch a glimmer of dream successful his eye.

Before I sewage nan train home, he took maine to nan religion wherever he was volunteering, helping pinch their regular pop-in cafe. The different volunteers, who were overmuch older, busied themselves pinch an antiquated beverage urn and integrative boxes afloat of biscuits. There was a disorder astir nan “tea-towel rota” and Craig stepped up and offered to return his turn. A female handed complete a integrative container afloat of towels and crockery cloths pinch a somewhat quizzical look successful her eye. I retrieve worrying arsenic we near nan religion hallway astir whether he had a washing instrumentality aliases knew really to usage it.

A fewer weeks later, location was trouble. Rules for ex-prisoners are reliable and spot is difficult won. He ended up being chucked retired for inviting “friends” information and throwing a kettle crossed an quiet room. No much cups of tea. He was recalled to prison.

We often talked astir that afternoon, and I ever said that now he’d managed to unrecorded successful his ain spot once, he could do it again. But though he listened, I judge he knew his chances were moving out.

At 35, Craig was looking astatine a longer condemnation than accustomed aft nan recall. On nan affirmative side, it meant he mightiness person entree to immoderate of nan support that was unavailable during shorter stretches. A female named Tara Tan had precocious started moving arsenic an creation psychotherapist successful Nottingham, partially acknowledgment to nan efforts of nan ever-resourceful John Seeney. The chaplain hoped that creation therapy mightiness beryllium a bully fresh for Craig, helping him definitive things he couldn’t find words for. “He liked to usage colour pencils,” Tan recalled. “He would colour in, and sometimes he would draw. But I deliberation he utilized nan abstraction much for location he could fto retired frustrations pinch nary fearfulness of judgment.”

Pamela Gordon pinch Jodie Young. Photograph: Handout

At nan start, Craig told maine he didn’t consciousness thing but numb and that worried him. “I’m closed disconnected emotionally to everything,” he told maine connected nan phone. “That’s been arsenic acold backmost arsenic I tin remember.” Tan noticed this, too. “He recovered it difficult to unfastened up for fearfulness of being wounded more,” she told me. “You request to make judge you time off nan sessions connected a affirmative because you’re sending personification backmost to nan helping knowing they’ll beryllium locked up successful their compartment alone.”

Then successful July 2019, while Craig was moving pinch Tan, nan independent enquiry into kid intersexual maltreatment published its investigation into really Nottingham assembly had responded to allegations of intersexual maltreatment from children successful care. “For decades, children who were successful nan attraction of Nottinghamshire assembly suffered appalling intersexual and beingness abuse, inflicted by those who should person nurtured and protected them,” announced Prof Alexis Jay, chair of nan inquiry. “Those responsible for overseeing nan attraction of children grounded to mobility nan grade of intersexual maltreatment aliases what action was being taken.”

Beechwood House, wherever Craig had been placed betwixt nan ages of 13 and 14, received a typical mention. Violence was communal and sexually abusive unit members were allowed free rein. Children’s allegations were ignored. Beechwood had yet been unopen down successful 2006, 7 years aft Craig’s clip there. It turns retired that location had been an atrocious batch to tally distant from.

The past clip I saw Craig successful personification was successful autumn 2019. He invited maine up to HMP Nottingham for a ceremonial celebrating nan extremity of a training people he’d completed connected staying straight. In nan 12 sessions he had been taught skills for “a life free from offending and supplier misuse”. Although I was a spot unclear astir what magic cardinal Craig had been fixed to thief him debar his past mistakes, it was a proud day. John Seeney was there, of course, and Tara Tan. The politician made an appearance, and barroom was served connected insubstantial plates. An ex-prisoner gave a talk astir really you could move things around, astir really overmuch was imaginable if you tried difficult and wanted it enough. I watched Craig measurement up to person his certificate arsenic he smiled, half afloat of hope.

But complete nan adjacent fewer years, caller starts became harder and ended sooner. There was a consciousness that clip was moving out. Earlier this year, connected 10 May, Craig spent different day down bars. I heard from him arsenic accustomed conscionable earlier he was released.

“Hiya Pam, it’s me, Craig present connected nan pen. Well now, I’m officially 41. Just 16 much days to spell till I’m backmost successful nan large wide world. I conscionable dream it stays that measurement and I tin yet get my life turned information …”

In that email he said he was hopeful of getting location to unrecorded erstwhile he sewage retired astatine nan extremity of May. He’d had an appraisal for lodging a fewer days earlier and thought that pinch nan council’s help, for once, he wouldn’t beryllium connected nan streets again. And truthful nan countdown began to different release, different cleanable slate. He promised to telephone erstwhile he sewage to probation to benignant his benefits out. By past he’d cognize his caller address, he said.

It wasn’t a astonishment erstwhile he didn’t call. After a week aliases truthful of not proceeding from him, nan accustomed interest began. I called a fewer group successful Nottingham to find retired if anyone had seen him. No 1 had. So, I waited for him to show up arsenic he ever had before. Waited for him to call, astir apt from personification else’s phone, saying that he’d messed up his appointments aliases that he had nary money for nan autobus to get to probation. Or that he’d conscionable been sleeping for days and that he was sorry.

The telephone ne'er came. On nan nighttime of 29 June 2025, Craig was recovered dead. A passerby recovered him slumped connected immoderate steps extracurricular a house, nan constabulary told me. He was only a mile from nan alleyway wherever he had slept unsmooth arsenic a 13-year-old.

It’s not clear yet which caller group of statistic Craig will beryllium added to. He will decidedly beryllium counted successful this year’s bum deaths, which numbered 1,600 past year. And he mightiness subordinate nan UK supplier deaths total, which reached 5,565 past year, nan highest number since records began successful 1993. It’s imaginable that he was a casualty of synthetic opioids. The number of those deaths has almost quadrupled successful England and Wales, from 52 successful 2023 to 195 successful 2024. Or possibly nan narcotics that contributed to his decease won’t beryllium recorded astatine all. The Office for National Statistics admits that figures for supplier misuse are much than apt undercounted. Whatever nan case, statistic for illustration this tin only explicate successful nan narrowest measurement why Craig died.

I later recovered retired that Craig had been released, that last time, into emergency accommodation, alternatively than nan longer word residence he was hoping for. He’d been offered a furniture done The Community Accommodation Service, which provides short-term lodging for prisoners released pinch nary fixed address. It’s a past edifice erstwhile “nothing other has been achieved”, personification from nan Probation Service told me. Craig had apparently burned astir of his bridges pinch them. “He struggled to engage,” they said. “But location are a batch of unanswered questions.”

Photograph: Handout

I emailed Steven Ramsell and told him nan news. “It was a sad time successful our office,” Ramsell said erstwhile he called maine later. He asked astir nan ceremonial and I told him that Craig’s contiguous family had opted for a nationalist wellness service, which would beryllium arranged and paid for by nan council. “A paupers’ funeral,” said Ramsell. “The last calamity successful a tragic life.”

Craig’s cremation took spot connected 11 August. Not wanting it to spell unmarked, John Seeney went and was allowed to opportunity a fewer words. He told maine he gave Craig’s coffin a small pat, arsenic a goodbye from america all. Ten days later, Seeney and I organised a memorial for Craig wrong Nottingham situation successful nan Chapel wherever Craig had recovered immoderate sanctuary complete nan years. Jodie Young, Tara Tan and astir 20 of nan existent inmates were there.

Seeney had made an bid of work connected nan chaplaincy printer. My photograph of Craig smiling successful that backmost gait successful Ilkeston was connected nan cover. I brought successful different photograph of him from erstwhile he was 13. I retrieve nan infinitesimal it was taken. Craig was talking astir blackberry picking pinch different runaway. Even then, it had felt truthful distant from nan life he was living. We stood it connected nan chapel altar successful a glassless frame.

A mates of nan prisoners stood up and shared memories of Craig. One, Jayden, who remembered robbing ace houses pinch him, shook his caput successful amazement that he’d survived a chaotic life connected nan streets and Craig had not. We laughed arsenic group recounted nan wilder stories from Craig’s life, for illustration nan clip he leapt disconnected a span while being chased by constabulary and fortunately landed connected a passing train. He ever maintained to nan chaplain that God had scheduled it to get conscionable successful time.

Jodie was excessively upset to speak. After 30 years of heroin use, she will people her two-year day of being cleanable this December. She useful arsenic a narcotics adjacent mentor. “My bosom feels for illustration it’s been smashed to pieces,” she told maine quietly. “What’s nan constituent of maine volunteering astatine supplier services and helping prevention people’s life erstwhile I can’t moreover prevention nan group I attraction about?”

Craig utilized to opportunity really he’d emotion to donate his assemblage to science, really they’d study a batch from him. “It’s conscionable that I wouldn’t cognize thing astir it, Pam,” he utilized to laugh. And it’s existent that nary chromatic is being near unturned to effort to activity retired what operation of longtime supplier use, mediocre health, despair aliases neglect killed him successful nan end. The postmortem is nether way, and an inquest is planned. In an highly different move, nan pathologist has retained nan full of Craig’s encephalon to alteration them to transportation retired a elaborate examination. So galore resources are being spent now that he’s gone.

In nan chapel, Seeney played immoderate music, a benignant of mysterious South American way which felt strangely comforting and we sat successful soundlessness pinch our ain memories. As we sewage fresh to time off that day and officers were called to return nan prisoners backmost to nan wings I thought astir really Craig would consciousness to spot america each here. That he’d ne'er judge really missed he is.

Illustration: Guardian Design

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